Written by LineStar contributor, combat sports enthusiast, and practitioner, Chris Guy. Instagram: @therealsethgeko | Twitter: @DadHallOfFamer

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Main Card 

Derrick Lewis (-150) vs. Rodrigo Nascimento (+125)

Lewis: DK: $8.4k | Nascimento: DK:$7.8k

This is a matchup straight off Top Chef. This is the Springfield Chili Cookoff, the UFC version. The only question is who will be serving Chief Wiggum’s Five Alarm Chili, and who will be Homer aimlessly chasing the Cheshire Coyote across a psychedelic desert. This is a heavyweight striker vs. grappler matchup, in the food world, the equivalent of hamburgers vs. pizza. Only the US government has a higher body count than Derrick Lewis has within the Octagon. And Rodrigo Nascimento is a choking hazard traveling along the same spectrum as weenies and windpipes. The only thing the UFC loves more than looking for reasons to give Conor McGregor title shots is giving Derrick Lewis wrestlers/grapplers and avoiding Rozenstruik vs. Lewis at all costs. Who knows, with a Derrick Lewis dub, maybe we will be one fight closer.   

Rodrigo Nascimento is the heartburn version of Marcos de Lima. Or de Lima is the Pepcid AC version of Rodrigo Nascimento. Either way, the two have similar styles and builds. This could be clever foreshadowing since it was de Lima who Derrick Lewis KO’d in the opening seconds with a Jorge Masvidal flying knee. The new UFC logo is now Lewis flying across the Octagon like a reimagining of Peter Pan. Nas is a grappler first, and a striker second, but that doesn’t mean he can’t crack the Black Beast’s ass on the feet. Nascimento is a chancla striker; he’ll throw a chancla at you with a foot in it. When he lets his hands go, it looks like he’s chasing you around the house trying to swat your ass with a Shaq-sized chancla que su abuela. Taking one look at Nas, you might picture him throwing a #2 double bacon western cheeseburger, fries, and a large Mountain Dew, or two enchiladas and a hard taco at you when I say he throws nothing but combos. He may not be technically attractive on the feet, but when he commits, it’s ‘till death do us part. Nascimento averages nearly four and a half SLpM to Lewis’s two and a half.  

Nascimento’s major malfunction is his hand speed or lack thereof. His hands are six months past their expiration date and create a foul smell in your fridge. His hands are last year’s model by the time they reach you. His hands are still clutching pagers. Nascimento’s hands only attend half days at school; they’re slow, pawtna. I ain’t your pawtna, homie! My man ghost rides his hands – gets out and pushes them to the target. But his hands are heavy like runaway semis on a downgrade; you have to respect them, or they’ll flatten you.   

But Nascimento’s real value is on the mat. He’ll pick you up and flip your ass like pollo and carne asada on the grill. Don’t threaten Derrick Lewis with a good time. Nas has bouncer takedowns; he handles you bodily, picks you up kicking and screaming, and carries you to the exit. Nascimento on top of you is like the Titanic landing on a sea urchin at the bottom of the ocean. You ain’t getting him off you without a fifty-man NatGeo expedition and a fleet of tugboats. You won’t see Nascimento level change and shoot double legs, but he will grab underhooks, push you against the cage, and hold you captive like a Diddy champagne room. From the top, Nas chips away with ground and pound and hunts nasty arm-triangle and rear-naked chokes like Mossy Oak and elk urine. Nas is a surprising 11-1 with two TKO/KOs and six subs, of which only one came inside the Octagon. His lone loss? A forty-five-second KO at the dormant hands of Chris Daukaus.   

And that, my homies, is what we call a bad look heading into a scrap against a guy with more bodies than the Iliad. Derrick Lewis’s Odyssey. Derrick Lewis would have been the final boss in the coliseum, swinging tigers by their tails. Cue that Hustle and Flow “Whoop that Trick!” That’s the Black Beast anthem. Derrick Lewis fights are like old-school 90s high-speed chases. His whip might rock suicide doors, but it's always murder on the dash – 187 while driving with his knees. Homie fights like a getaway driver, with complete disregard for anyone within the vicinity. Every Derrick Lewis fight is a countdown to Armageddon, a race against the clock before his balls get hot and meltdown like nuclear reactors. If Derrick Lewis wins this fight, it will be one of two ways: With another Masvidal flying knee at the beginning of one of the rounds or with another Curtis Blaydes Tiger Uppercut.   

Like Renato Moicano can’t afford to lose, Derrick Lewis can’t afford to get taken down. He rocks a fifty-three percent takedown defense while Nascimento averages just under one and a half takedowns per fifteen minutes. I’m old enough to remember when Derrick Lewis used to just stand up with his opponent on his back, like your pops when you would wrestle. He said he didn’t believe in Jiu-Jitsu as if it were an urban legend. Those days seem to be Dead and Gone like JT and T.I. Nowadays if Lewis ends up on his back, that’s where he’ll stay. An object at rest stays at rest and all that. Lewis has to short-play this fight and unload those music festival overhands and hooks. Oh, and don’t forget that sneaky lead-leg head kick he keeps in the trunk. Don’t make Derrick Lewis pop the trunk. It may look like Lizzo getting out of a pool when he throws it, but it’s like getting hit by a calf when it lands. I’m talking 'bout baby cows, homies. We ain't your homies, pal!   

Derrick Lewis is the (-155) favorite, and Nascimento is the (+130) live-ass dog. Anybody who can takedown Derrick Lewis is a live-ass dog. And almost anybody can take down Derrick Lewis. But can Nascimento fight for twenty-five minutes? I’m not sure he can do anything for twenty-five minutes. Derrick Lewis went a full five rounds in his last bout, a decision L to Jailton Almeida, and has been to the fourth round twice. I can’t say that for Nascimento. Nascimento will have to create damage from the top position; he will eventually gas if he attempts to control the top position for the duration. The play for Derrick Lewis is and will always be a TKO/KO. The play for Nas is a submission. I can’t see any way possible this fight will go the distance unless it turns into Ngannou vs. Lewis.   

I haven’t been able to say this in a while, but we’re streaking! The main event dub streak sits at two after Toja Cat held on by the elastic of his chonies to a decision dub against PGA Tour Aaron Rogers. That was Erceg’s fight to lose heading into the fifth, but he decided to go for a takedown when he was piecing up Toja on the feet. Fook it! I’ll take it. Derrick Lewis via TKO, round two. Put that ish on wax.  

Props 

Lewis: TKO/KO (-135) Sub (+3000) Dec (+1600)  

Nascimento: TKO/KO (+380) Sub (+350) Dec (+1200) 

Winner: Derrick Lewis | Method: TKO Rd.2

Joaquin Buckley (-155) vs. Nursulton Ruziboev (+130)

Buckley: DK: $8.7k | Ruziboev: DK: $7.5k

This shit right here could be the main event. The Nursulton of Swat, aka the King of Crash, aka, the Colossus of Clout, aka the Great Bam-bean-O is back. After a heavy influx of cash donations from bidet lobbyists, the man with five career wins by Kimura is back. Ruziboev is a house Shavkat/Khamzat on the rocks – two parts Shavkat and one part Khamzat, shaken and not stirred.  He has over forty professional fights on his record but so far, he’s like Lock Ness, we’ve only had brief sightings. He could turn out to be like a secondhand UFO abduction story, just the imagination of some drunk guy at Chilis looking for the attention he doesn’t receive at home. Or he could be the next “ev” sent by Skynet to enslave every fighter in the UFC. There isn’t enough footage on Ruziboev to know if he’s for real or not. But there’s a good chance that question will be answered after he fights the turtle in a full shell, Joaquin Buckley.   

So far, in two brief UFC bouts, Ruziboev hasn’t even scratched the surface of his ground game. He’s just been mashing people out with the quickness on the feet. His cadence can fool you. Overall, his striking is stiff, like driving with the emergency brake on. It’s similar to Shavkat’s but without the subtle slips and counters. His hands are line drives up the middle without a single degree of curve in them. Down the middle, between Buckley’s wide shoulders, will be wide open for Ruziboev. Buckley may have better hand speed, but Ruziboev’s hands are shorter to the target. 

But what makes Ruziboev special is his ground game and how he relocates fights to the mat. Ruziboev has reverse psychology takedowns. He dares you to take him down. He will lay down in front of you like Rose posing for a nude portrait on the Titanic or Nate Diaz in front of Anderson Silva – an attempt to entice you to take him down. Don’t fall for it, Buckley. Buckley is far from a wrestler/grappler, but he has been known to lick off random double legs into the air like it’s New Year's Eve. Ruziboev loves the bottom position - when his ass hits the mat, it’s Kimura Time. He uses the Kimura from the bottom to submit and to sweep and end up on top. It’s an okie-doke - let you take him down so he can reverse you.   

Ruziboev is 34-8 for his career with twelve TKO/KOs and twenty-subs. That’s thirty-two finishes in thirty-four dubs for those counting on fingers and toes. That includes six dubs in under one minute. Buckley has six career losses but has yet to be finished via sub. That streak could end if Ruziboev is smart and doesn’t try to prove a point on the feet. Buckley rocks a sixty-noine percent takedown defense and isn’t a chump on the mat, but that “ov/ev” wrestling just hits differently. I think the play for Ruziboev is a sub. He can damage Buck on the feet, but I think his ground and pound will force Buck to give up his back at some point.   

Both these guys fought only a month ago. Buckley drank the last sip of Vicente Luque that had been left in the fridge for months and finally threw him away. He turned into Tito Ortiz in that fight, and this time around he’ll have to turn into Gaethje or Jonathan Martinez. Ruziboev is built like a suit straight off the JC Penny rack and has create-a-fighter Jon Jones legs. His calf muscles are out here screaming, “Nursulton, I don’t fit you!” Buckley has to build this ass whoopin’ from the ground up by attacking Ruziboev’s cock legs – cock, as in like a rooster. Once Buckley takes away Ruziboev’s ability to relocate the fight to the mat, he can open up with his trademark whipping overhands and hooks.  

Buckley is all hooks like Akon. When Buckley starts whizzing shots past your dome it's like standing on a train platform when a bullet train comes through. Them shits will knock you off your feet even if they miss. Buckley has superchargers on his hands, and they measure the force of his strikes in horsepower. The power in his hands is generated by the distance they travel. He traffics his hands across the border, Mexico and Canada. And he leaps into the pocket with all his weight and momentum adding to the force of his punches. He looks like Fred Durst and Method Man in the N 2 Gether Now music video when he closes the distance. Also, beware of Buckley’s rear-leg head kicks. They can be a side dish that tastes better than the entre. 

But Buckley’s best weapon is that he invokes squatter’s rights in your head and makes you fight emotionally. Leading up to the fight, he rubs you the wrong way every chance he gets. Unless you’re into that, then he rubs you the right way. Buckley nearly stole the Nassourdine Imavov fight in the waning minutes because Imavov abandoned the game plan and engaged Buckley in a firefight. He has a Mentat's ability to compel you to fight with your ego and not with your mind. Buckley is 18-6 with thirteen TKO/KOs and as many subs as you and I. The play for Buckley is a TKO/KO finish. A decision heavily favors Nursulton and getting the fight to the mat. There is distant value in a decision if the two show each other too much respect on the feet. But Buckley will have to take a lot of risks and that lends to the probability of a finish.   

Buckley is the (-155) favorite, and Nursulton is the (+130) live-ass dog. I think Buckley’s experience in the UFC and fighting some of the best fighters in the world is why he’s the favorite. Plus, there’s too much still unknown about Ruziboev. Can he hang in a dogfight? If his game plan is to wrestle primarily and strike secondarily, then I would drop that Andy Jack last week. Fantasy-wise Ruziboev’s upside is well worth the middle-tier price tag. Even if the fight stays standing, he’ll probably push the pace and is more of a volume striker than Buckley. Damn. I have no idea about this one. None. Joaquin Buckley via decision. Wax on, wax off.  

Props 

Buckley: TKO/KO (+140) Sub (+2000) Dec (+400)  

Ruziboev: TKO/KO (+330) Sub (+450) Dec (+650) 

Winner: Joaquin Buckley | Method: Decision

Alonzo Menifield (+210) vs. Carlos Ulberg (-250)

Alonzo: DK: $6.9k | Ulberg: DK:$9.3k

Your worst nightmare is coming home from a hard day’s work and seeing Carlos Ulberg skimming the surface of your pool with a long-ass net. Carlos Ulberg is De Niro in Heat when it comes to stealing your Betty. Saturday Night Lights; Ulberg is the Varsity QB all over again. He has every Betty and Shiela in the arena rocking his letterman’s jacket. And the worst part is, after he commits the robbery, ain’t shit you can do about it. You might as well just give him the passcode for the thermostat and walk away. The bad news: He’s back and looks thirstier than ever - like he’s been wandering the Sahara with nothing but dung beetle dung filtered through a sock to drink. The good news: Alonzo Menifield is a massive savage who we can exact retribution for all of us. This is a banger of a matchup, a classic striker vs. wrestler-turned-striker, and the end result will likely be one of these guys getting fished out of the Octagon with a long-ass net.  

Carlos Ulberg has come a long way since his attempted assassination of Kennedy Nzechukwu in his debut. Early in the first round, Ulberg had Kennedy crawling out the back of the limo only to gas out and get Jack Ruby’d in the second round. But he hasn’t lost since. Ulberg has won five in a row, including four straight finishes. Ulberg is a savvy kickboxer with two of the deadliest elements on that big ass chart hanging on the wall in your Chemistry class: LE (length) and SP (speed). Nobody uses their jab like Carlos Ulberg. He has a snake charmer’s lead hand that he carries almost fully extended as he traverses the Octagon. The extended hand position creates less distance for the jab to travel and makes it quicker to the target. Check it: Carlos averages nearly seven and a half SLpM and noinety percent (made up stat) of those strikes are jabs. Ulberg only uses his rear hand as a garnish which makes it far more effective than using it to excess as many fighters do.  

Ulberg’s style is one hunnid percent range dependent. You must invade his personal space and make things uncomfortable. If you let Ulberg stand at range and control the pocket, he will jab your face... off. The game plan for Ulberg against Alonzo Menifield will be controlling the center of the Octagon and avoiding the cage at all costs. Menifield will try to pressure Ulberg and trap him against the cage where Menifield can unload heavy hooks and overhands and look for level changes. Ulberg is 9-1 for his career with six TKO/KOs and one submission. If you’ve seen Menifield fight over the years, you’ll be surprised to know he’s only been finished once in his career. It seems like in every fight, Menifield busts out the Heelys and takes a couple laps around the mall. You can hurt Zo, but he’s a mother-shut-your-mouf to finish. Ulberg will have a good shot if he can control the range and avoid extended exchanges in the pocket.   

“I did’t know you liked to get wet, Jake.” Alonzo is back. This fookin’ guy is built like Optimus Prime. This guy is built like pass rushers in the 90s. This guy has roughing the passer, fifteen-yard penalty takedowns. He’s like an elite edge rusher getting a good jump off the line. My man is out here looking like an old-school Bruce Smith highlight. When he shoots, it's like a damn grizzly bear double legging you. And you already know how bears get down... They eat you ass-first. At the core of Menifield is a massive wrestler with deadly wrestler striking. He might be the most dangerous wrestler striker in the higher weight classes. This guy got a couple KOs, threw out the singlet and Princess Leia earmuffs, and fell in love with striking like T-Pain fell in love with a stripper. Alonzo thinks striking really likes him and not the dollar bills he throws at it.  

Zo’s major malfunction is that overall, he has 8-bit original NES striking. You have to cover Alonzo in an old paper bag and write your name in the back; he’s a textbook 1-2s and 2-3's wrestler striker. He’s not very crafty and usually has to make up for large technical discrepancies with power. All Zo’s punches are a la carte; he doesn’t have enough change in the ashtray for a combo. He cracks your ass like pavement one punch at a time and runs the risk in every fight of being outworked on the feet. Zo averages just under four SLpM, and he will have to make up a large output gap against Ulberg unless he can close it with knockdowns and possible fight-ending sequences. Menifield is 15-3 for his career with ten TKO/KOs and three subs and has won four of his last five with one draw thrown in the mix.   

Ulberg is the (-250) favorite, and Alonzo Menifield is the (+200) live-ass dog. Throw the odds out the window, this is a complete toss-up. Ulberg’s speed will likely help facilitate an early lead. But if he fades, Menifield’s power will translate to the final bell. Every second is dangerous when fighting Alonzo Menifield and no lead is safe. Menifield is coming off a near domination of the former Glory Kickboxing Champ Dusting Jacoby and proved he can hang with elite strikers. As a Fantasy option, Menifield will be dripping in value with a massive upside. I’m going to pick Ulberg’s speed to prevail, but best believe I got a Hamilton on a Menifield TKO/KO. Carlos Ulberg via decision. Put it on wax.

 Props 

Ulberg: TKO/KO (-110) Sub (+1400) Dec (+300)  

Menifield: TKO/KO (+450) Sub (+1000) Dec (+800) 

Winner: Carlos Ulberg | Method: Decision

Mateusz Rebecki (-350) vs. Diego Ferreira (+275)

Rebecki: DK: $9.4k | Ferreira: DK: $6.8k

Banger. Fighters have been ducking Mateusz Rebecki like little people and turnstiles. Rebecki is thirty-one years old and looks like he’s going on fifty-one. My man could qualify for that six-a.m. early bird special at the Country Kitchen Buffet. Ol Medicare-looking-ass. But don’t let that fool you. This guy is a deadly combination, like Big L and 2Pac, a combination of powerful kickboxing and suffocating wrestling/grappling. But for the first time in three UFC bouts, Rebecki won’t be fighting guys with day jobs. In high school, Diego Ferreira was the man, homie. At one point, from 2016 to 2020, Ferreira won six straight, culminating in a second-round submission of Anthony Pettis. This could turn into a grappling firefight, much like we saw with last weekend’s main event between Toja Cat and PGA Tour Aaron Rogers.   

Mateusz Rebecki is built like M.U.S.C.L.E. Men, those little action figures you used to get outside Toys R Us. You put a quarter in, turn the handle, and Mateusz Rebecki pops out. But more importantly, he rocks the Spartacus alopecia fade. Trust me, you don’t want to make it a habit of fookin’ with dudes rocking the Spartacus helmet fade. If Rebecki was Luke Skywalker, Sean Sherk (my day ones know) would be Darth Vader. “Mateusz, I am your father.” This guy bleeds protein powder. On the feet, Rebecki reminds me of a southpaw Michael Chandler. His striking travels along the wrestler-striker spectrum with some added wrinkles. Rebecki is good at changing his shoulder levels, which allows him to attack above and below the guard instead of repetitively down the middle or with classic hooks around it. He attacks from below with the lead hand and chops downward like an ax with the rear hand.  

But Rebecki’s specialty is on the mat. He’s a garbage disposal on the mat; he will turn you into compost for use in his tomato garden real quick. It just hit me. Rebecki reminds me of an aerodynamic Tim Boetsch. Boetsch was a sleeper in his time who had a sneaky ground-and-pound game. Rebecki is travel-size Tim Boetsch, aka TSA-approved Tim Boetsch. What’s special about Rebecki is that he is damage and submission over position and uses his ground and pound to facilitate sub-opportunities. Rebecki is 19-1 for his career with noine TKO/KOs and seven subs while averaging nearly five and a half SLpM. Rebecki’s value against Ferreira will be in a late TKO/KO finish. Ferreira has a classic moped gas tank and tends to fade like a thirty-two-channel mixer. Ferreira has never been submitted, but three of his five career L’s came via TKO/KO.   

Diego Ferreira howls at the moon for about five to seven minutes before he turns into Herbert Burns and completely gasses. On the feet, Deigo looks like a gorilla at the zoo lobbing handfuls of doodie into the crowd gathered around to stare at him. He throws nothing but twelve-year-old Andy Reid overhands. In his most recent bout, after a sketchy first round, he put Michael Johnson in a pine box with rouge on both cheeks. Ferreira busts MJ out on Thanksgiving and uses him as an extra table now. He stood up MJ at attention like a drill sergeant. Major Payne type-ish. Ferreira hit MJ with that blue pill – straight blue pilled him. Forget the pharmaceuticals, Ferreira’s right hand will stiffen you up real quick. 

Wait.. 

WTF? 

No Diddy. You know what I’m sizzlin’. Ferreira’s right overhand will cure anything that ales you. He throws from the windup even when there’s runners on base. Another reference for all my day one’s: Ferreira has always reminded me of Hermes Franca, the OG who once submitted Nate Diaz via armbar waaaaaaay back in the day. Diego lacks fundamentals and technique on the feet but he has a special weapon, his reach. His arms are longer than his body. He has to wear shoes on his hands like dog shoes. Ferreira is also a fairly high-output striker, averaging over four and a half SLpM. 

But Ferreira is a Jii-Jitsu demigod. Fish in water, monkeys in trees; this guy’s natural habitat is on the mat. He’s 18-5 for his career with four TKO/KOs and seven subs. He’s nimble, agile, and quick in scrambles with some of the most creative back-takes in the game. But his major malfunction is elite wrestlers. He has that grannies-in-the-shower takedown defense, clocking in at sixty-three percent for his career. That, and he only puts $5 on an empty tank and runs out a couple miles down the road. Ferreira gasses and will allow himself to be controlled for long stretches. His path to victory will be creating chaos on the feet and testing his grappling against Rebecki’s. If he can get Rebecki’s back...  

Rebecki is the heavy (-325) favorite, and Diego is the (+260) mangy dog. Ferreira can win this fight, but he’s fighting in a window. He only has a round and a half of danger in him. After that, he breaks. He has to short-play the fight, land something heavy early, and be the first to try to relocate the fight to the mat. I think the play for Rebecki is a late TKO/KO and an early submission for Ferreira. But at the end of the day, the day has to end, and Rebecki should be able to weather the early storm and take over midway through. Mateusz Rebecki via TKO, round three. On wax. 

Props 

Rebecki: TKO/KO (+120) Sub (+450) Dec (+250)   

Ferreira: TKO/KO (+900) Sub (+1100) Dec (+800) 

Winner: Mateusz Rebecki | Method: TKO Rd.3

Bruce Leeroy (+160) vs. Sean Woodson (-195)

Leeroy: DK: $7.1k | Woodson: DK:$9.1k

This is the longest matchup in UFC history. These two guys are longer than church when you were a kid. They’re like sitting through the Sound of Music when you had a substitute for the day. Bruce Leeroy is Merton Hank’s neck all grown up and on its own, and Sean Woodson is the human hieroglyph straight out of the Pharaoh's tomb. Sean Woodson's hands travel first class, and the rest of him sits coach. This is a clever little matchup and a needed step up in competition for Sean Woodson. This will be Woodson’s first fight against a true UFC veteran. Bruce Leeroy has been in the UFC since 2011, and he’s still winning fights. He won two in a row before losing a close fight to the Kickboxing genius, Giga Chikadze. This is a dope fight on a main card filled with bangers. 

Bruce Leeroy, aka Alex Caceres, is the UFC version of Bob Ross. All his strikes are happy accidents. This guy will have a smile on his face even when there ain’t a damn thing funny. His luscious afro is like Krang controlling the rest of his body. Bruce-Bruce has a classical Karate style with an encyclopedia of kicks. He’s the only guy in the UFC who will hit your ass with a Messi bicycle kick and a Liu Kang bicycle kick in the same round. Bruce’s style is straight out of the 60s. The way he moves reminds me of bell bottoms and roller skates. It’s Panic at the Disco when Bruce Leeroy starts funkin’ around. Bruce leaps tall buildings with a single bound when he closes the distance – looks like a flying squirrel soaring from treetop to treetop. Bruce’s major malfunction on the feet is that he doesn’t always use his range well. He has that Kevin Holland complex and tends to over-pursue.  

Bruce is 21-14 for his career with four TKO/KOs and seven subs while averaging just over four SLpM to Woodson’s five and a half. Although he can stand and trade with Woodson, I think the play for Bruce Leeroy is a submission finish or a decision. I think he will try to sneak some takedowns, and his ground game is highly underrated. But the biggest knock against him is a lack of power on the feet. He’ll likely have to out-point Woodson on the feet and look to steal some takedowns to fill in any gaps. 

Watching Sean Woodson fight is mind-boggling. His hands are so slow yet so effective. His hands travel on intercontinental flights and lose six hours by the time they hit the target. But they still hit you. You have years to prepare for them, like nuclear fallout, yet you still get caught by surprise without an underground bunker. Woodson is built like the first drawing you ever made in preschool. Cue that Stick Figure: Who Set The World On Fire? Sean Woodson set the world on fire. A slow fookin’ burn. His hands unravel like grappling hooks. His arms do the worm when he punches. His arms tangle when he throws combinations, and they spend the minute between rounds untangling them. Woodson’s specialty is bodywork. He has that Midas touch. Woodson implements the ol’ halfcourt trap, boxing you in against the cage, and shoeshines the body before working his way upstairs. “Go get your f**kin’ shinebox!” Woodson will shoeshine your body until he can see his reflection in it. 

Woodson is 11-1 for his career with three TKO/KOs and one sub. He has that whiskey shots and dates that look like Li Jingliang finishing rate. Woodson is a volume striker and wins fights with accumulated damage. The biggest knock against him is the same as Bruce Leeroy; he has less power than the American people. Octagon control will be the key to Woodson’s victory. He needs to cut the Octagon and trap Bruce against the cage where he can get off extended combinations. Even though he is long as fook, Woodson is a better pocket striker than Bruce Leeroy. He has to get inside Bruce’s long-range kicks and unload combinations.   

Sean Woodson is the (-195) favorite, and Bruce Leeroy is the (+160) live-ass dog. This is another fight that looks like a complete toss-up to me. Leeroy looked good in his most recent bout, a loss to Giga. That fight was 1-1 going into the final round, and Bruce had some good moments against a world-class striker. And although Woodson only has one loss (by submission), he has sketchy moments in nearly every fight. He gets rocked on the regular but finds ways to survive. He can get got on his feet. Bruce needs to make this an MMA scrap and try to get Woodson’s back in a scramble. But the play for each is a win by decision. A eunuch has more finishes than these guys. Damnit! Quit playin’ with me! Give me the dog! Bruce Leeroy via decision. Put it on wax!  

Props 

Woodson: TKO/KO (+400) Sub (+1200) Dec (-105)   

Bruce: TKO/KO (+1200) Sub (+750) Dec (+330) 

Winner: Bruce Leeroy | Method: Decision

Prelims

$7k Value Menu

Charles Johnson ($7.6): This guy seems to fight every month, and they love throwing Charles Johnson to the wolves. Johnson has seven fights in two years and has faced stiff competition. Most recently, Johnson pulled off a big upset over Azat Maksum, a highly touted grappler. Johnson’s Achilles heel has always been takedown defense. Muhammad Mokaev took him down twelve times, and Cody Durden took him down eleven times. But those are two elite wrestlers. Johnson’s opponent, Jake Hadley, has slick grappling, but he’s far from the elite wrestlers Johnson has faced. I like the chances of this one staying on the feet for long stretches. If that’s the case, Johnson can score solid significant strikes. He averages four and a half SLpM to Hadley’s three and a half and has hovered around eighty significant strikes in each of his last two bouts. And that was while defending takedowns left and right. If you’re looking for a guy to put some points on the board and want to avoid an all-or-nothing option, Johnson is the guy. 

Nursulton Ruziboev ($7.5k): I’m not sure Ruziboev won’t win this fight. We have yet to see Ruziboev’s ground/submission game, and there’s no better time to dust it off than against a savage like Joaquin Buckley. If he can get this fight to the ground, it might be over quickly. And even if he can’t get Buckley to the mat, Ruziboev has solid striking with straight, crispy punches that will consistently beat Buckley down the middle. This fight is a toss-up to me, and getting a guy with thirty-two finishes in thirty-four career dubs at this price is a steal. Is the hype real? IDK, but we’ll find out if he can beat Buckley. Ruziboev gives you multiple ways to score Fantasy points: Significant strikes, takedowns, control time, and submissions. He’s an MMA fighter, whereas Buckley is mostly a brawler on the feet. 

Terrance McKinney ($7.3k): This guy is the very definition of all-or-nothing. McKinney will either win this fight within the first five minutes or roll over and get finished via TKO/KO in the second round. Esteban Ribovics is a going-out-of-business Dustin Poirier. He’s southern hemisphere Dustin Poirier, aka Dustinito. Ribovics has been in some serious firefights in just two fights in the UFC and has shown he has that buck-fiddy Costco dog in him. But his takedown defense is sus. McKinney will likely dominate the first five minutes with whirlwind, wild striking, and explosive takedowns. But after that initial outburst, pack it up, pack it in, let me begin. McKinney is 5-3 in the UFC, and all five dubs came in the first round, and two of his three losses came in the second round (the other ended in the first). McKinney’s upside is the moon, and his downside is the center of the earth, dwelling with the crab people. 

  $6k Bathroom Clearance Rack 

Alonzo Menifield ($6.9k): This is like finding pastries on the clearance rack by the restrooms with two days left on their sell-by date instead of one. I think Menifield vs. Ulberg is a complete toss-up. Menifield just went three hard rounds against a Glory World Champion kickboxer, Dustin Jacoby. And Menifield largely dominated the stand-up. He had Jacoby skating around the mall in a pair of Heelys several times in that fight, and Jacoby was lucky to make it to the final bell. Ulberg has far better hand speed than Jacoby and fights longer, two things that will cause Menifield serious problems. But Ulberg has suspect cardio, and Menifield can bring that into play if he can make Ulberg defend takedowns and not allow him to settle into a comfortable kickboxing pace. The one-punch KO power will belong to Menifield. If you like to play multiple rosters, make sure Menifield is on one of them. He can win this fight, and he’ll likely have to do it via a finish. I would actually take Menifield over most of the $7k options. 

Twenty-Twen-Twen Sleepers

Waldo Acosta (+180): I’m just not sold on Robelis Despaigne quite yet. Beating Josh Parisian, aka Gucci Bert Kreischer, in eighteen seconds just doesn’t do it for me. What happens when Despaigne can’t just walk through somebody in the opening seconds? Can he settle into a classic back-and-forth scrap? How’s his cardio? Despaigne is built like Godzilla, and that type of frame doesn’t usually translate to having a good gas tank. Waldo Acosta has some of the fastest hands in the heavyweight division and a right hand straight out of the bullpen in the bottom of the ninth. Acosta throws nothing but two and four-seam fastballs down the pipe and dares you to hit it. The key for Acosta will be slow playing the first round and letting Despaigne blow off some steam before he engages with his own flurries. Whatever he does, he can’t engage in a firefight like Parisian did. Survive and advance; that’s the key for Acosta. 

Bruce Leeroy (+165): This is a winnable fight for Bruce-Bruce. He’s coming off a very competitive fight against the former Glory Kickboxing stand-out Giga Chikadze. Bruce can stand with anyone and has sneaky grappling tucked in his FannyPack. His opponent, Sean Woodson, has some of the slowest (but effective) hands you will see at this level, and Bruce has the more diverse striking, using a variety of kicks in addition to his hands. Woodsen is mostly a boxer with excellent bodywork that wears down opponents over fifteen minutes. But Woodson will have to chase Bruce Leeroy and open himself up to some wild kicks and spinning shit. This one has split-decision written all over it like explicit graffiti written on gas station restroom stalls. 

Alonzo Menifield (+210): I think the oddsmakers are sleeping on Menifield. I’m picking Ulberg to win this fight—I think his speed and ability to control range will be the difference—but I have an Andy Jack face down on a Menifield TKO/KO. He’s 6-1-1 in his last eight bouts, with his only loss coming to the statue William Knight. And that was just a weird boring fight. Throw that one out, and Menifield is on a hell of a run with dubs over Dustin Jacoby, Jimmy Crute, and Misha Cirkunov in that span. He also has a first-round KO of Paul Craig. If you fook around with Alonzo Menifield, it’s only a matter of time until you find out. This guy cracks like butt cheeks and only needs one punch to turn the tide of any fight. Plus, he has some power wrestling hidden in a safe for a rainy day.   

Pick ‘Em 

Waldo Acosta (+165) vs. Robelis Despaigne (-200) 

Winner: Robelis Despaigne 

Method: TKO Rd.1 

Chase Hooper (+130) vs. Viacheslav Borshchev (-155) 

Winner: Viacheslav Borshchev 

Method: TKO Rd.2 

Terrance McKinney (+150) vs. Esteban Ribovics (-180) 

Winner: Esteban Ribovics 

Method: TKO Rd.2 

Tabatha Ricci (-140) vs. Tecia Pennington (+115) 

Winner: Tabatha Ricci 

Method: Decision 

Billy Goff (+140) vs. Trey Waters (-170) 

Winner: Trey Waters 

Method: TKO Rd.3 

Charles Johnson (+135) vs. Jake Hadley (-165) 

Winner: Charles Johnson 

Method: Decision 

Jared Gordon (+195) vs. Kevin Jousset (-240) 

Winner: Kevin Jousset 

Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.2 

J.J. Aldrich (+115) vs. Veronica Hardy (-140) 

Winner: J.J. Aldrich 

Method: Decision 

Thanks for reading LineStar Weekly Knockout! We'll be back next Thursday with another one. Until then, good luck and support your local MMA Gym.

About Me

My name is Chris Guy, and I’m an avid combat sports enthusiast and practitioner. I’ve been a fan of MMA since the early 2000s when Limewire was still around, and I downloaded Bas Rutten’s Big Book of Combat. In 2004, I started training Muay Thai at City Boxing in San Diego, CA. I competed as an amateur for many years, and I've also dabbled in Jiu-Jitsu. I follow many different disciplines, such as Combat Ji-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Glory Kickboxing, Boxing, and MMA.

I’m equally as enthusiastic about the craft of writing, and in addition to writing about combat sports, I also write short fiction and music. I hope to bring unique prose to sports writing, and along the way, encourage people to not only become Martial Arts fans but to also become Martial Artists themselves.

In the future, you may see me refer to the Thunderdome; it's an ode to the old Mad Max movie and refers to the world-class training facility I built in my one-car garage. It's complete with throw dummies, wrestling mats, heavy bags, and six months' worth of Chef Boyardee cans from when I thought the world was going to end back in March. I hope you enjoy my work, and if you don’t, the Thunderdome has an open door polic1