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Written by LineStar contributor, combat sports enthusiast, and practitioner, Chris Guy. Instagram: @therealsethgeko | Twitter: @DadHallOfFamer

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Main Card

Derrick Lewis (+230) vs. Tallison Teixeira (-280)

Lewis: DK: $7.2k | Teixeira: DK:$9k

He’s got K-Os. In different area codes, area codes. Now you thought he was just 713 and 218? Derrick Lewis is worldwide, trick. Act like y’all don’t know. He’s the abominable K-O man. Globe trot, international KO man. Neighborhood KO man. 314 (St. Louis), 801 (Salt Lake City), 702 (Las Vegas), 512 (Austin), 713 (Houston), 602 (Phoenix), 518 (Albany), and 615 (Nashville) is in Derrick Lewis’s sights. You can ask ChatGPT or Grok, and they’ll tell you that nobody has more KOs (15) inside the Octagon than The Black Beast. He’s the modern-day Odysseus, and every time he steps into the cage, you’re witnessing a new chapter in Derrick Lewis’s Odyssey.   

No one man should have all that power. You can’t wrap your mind around the type of power Derrick Lewis has. Your eyes bug out of your head like helmet-less Arnold on the surface of Mars when you witness Lewis’s power. The number of clinically insane people rose exponentially worldwide after his infamous last-second Hail Mary KO of Alexander Volkov. It was as if the third dimension had folded in on itself, giving way to a fourth. A dimension that the human brain is not advanced enough to perceive with any level of rationality.   

If KOs were currency, Derrick Lewis would be the richest man on earth. Fook Elon. He’d have more money than an Arabian prince. Lewis has forgotten about more KOs than most fighters have KOs in their entire careers. Occasionally, someone Lewis KO’d years ago shows up on his porch trying to strike up a relationship and make up for lost time. He has illegitimate KOs sprinkled all over the map. If you lined up from head to toe all the people Derrick Lewis has KO’d, they would stretch around the entire globe.   

Derrick Lewis’s major malfunction besides his ground game is that he always fights two-on-one inside the cage. He fights his opponent and the clock. It’s a race against time before Lewis’s balls overheat and melt down like a nuclear reactor. That’s why the Black Beast is built the way he is. Too much stress leads to increased cortisol production. Which leads to an accumulation of belly fat. Fighting another man is stressful enough. But add in a Testicular Event Horizon lying on the literal horizon, and that would be enough to stress anyone. Yo! Hit that 21 Pilots “Stressed Out!”   

But grappling will be one less thing for D. Lewis to worry about when he fights Tallison Teixeira. This is all but guaranteed to be a short and sweet stand-up banger. Throw out all the stats, someone will get got early in this one. The most telling stat: Derrick Lewis’s 2 hours 42 minutes and 28 seconds of Octagon time versus Teixeira’s thirty-five seconds. This will be Teixeira’s second UFC appearance and only his noineth professional MMA bout. At what point does an advanced Octagon time become a detriment and no longer an advantage? Lewis is nearing that tipping point. Will this be the fight in which Lewis finally becomes Jack Rooney with Teixeira assuming the role of Willie Beamen, itching to take Rooney’s spot in the starting lineup?   

Only chins will tell. The only man more hittable than Derrick Lewis is Tallison Teixeira. Down to ride till the bloody end; it’s just Tallison and his chin. Teixeira and his chin are the new Thelma & Louise. Tallison’s chin is the only defense he has. His chin is built like cars in the '60s. He has that Mr. Mercedes chin. When it comes to defense, Teixeira gets on his Busta Rhymes shit. A dozen right hands: Gimme some more! Leg kicks: Gimme some more! Head kicks: Gimme some more! Teixeira fights one-hundred-meter sprints to a KO. So far, Teixeira has beaten his opponent to the punch eight times. He has yet to lose a race. That will change sooner rather than later. But will it change against Derrick Lewis? 

Teixeira will be the far more technical striker with a true boxer’s jab. For all the old-school fight heads, Teixeira is the new Bigfoot Silva (Sasquatch Silva if you want to be a Richard about it). Teixeira is Hunger Games Bigfoot Silva. Hunger Games, as in, he skipped a few meals here and there. Teixeira is built like a Yeti with Yeti coolers for hands. Head kicks, elbows, knees, crispy, straight punches, Tallison uses all his weapons to turn your TV off, turn your TV off. Hit that Kendrick Lamar! Teixeira puts people in boxes like the Brady Bunch. In his thirty-five-second debut, he did Justin Tafa like Prodigy’s verse on Shook Ones. He rocked Tafa in the face and stabbed his brain with his nose bone. Tafa was left all alone in these streets, cousin. Teixeira’s boxing is unusually slick for a heavyweight, but his special move is the head kick. It looks like Derrick Lewis is getting out of a pool when Teixeira throws it. But don’t let that fool you. It gets to the target quickly, and Teixeira likes to come out of the gate slanging shins to the head.   

The problem with this matchup is that I don’t know how good Teixeira is/isn’t. There just isn't enough film on him. He has never seen a second round and has only fought longer than two minutes three times. Three fights ended in under a minute. His toughest fight was on the Contender Series, and he still slept his opponent in under two minutes. To be headlining a UFC event in only your second fight is crazy work. But he can sit behind his jab and out-kickbox Lewis from the outside. He will find himself in danger when he over pursues and tries to extend combinations beyond two strikes. If he gets into trouble, he can always take down Lewis. But I think Teixeira wants to stand and bang and use Derrick Lewis as a stepping-stone.   

Teixeira will be the (-270) favorite, and Lewis will be (+220) live-ish dog. Lewis is one of the GOAT Twenty Twen-Twen Sleepers. He is always a finishing threat. If Lewis can get out of the first round, what will Teixeira look like in the second or third round? The longer Lewis can extend the fight, the better chance he will have. Lewis went a full five rounds in a loss to Jailton Almeida. He spent most of that time lying down, but he still made it to the final bell. The play for this one is a TKO/KO one way or another. The biggest knock against Lewis entering this fight is that he hasn’t fought in over a year. Losing a year at his fighting age is like aging in dog years.   

We’re streaking again. Ilia Topuria slayed another fan favorite and pushed the main event winning streak to two. This week’s matchup could be a little tricky with so much unknown about Teixeira. But I’m not going to overthink it. Tallison Teixeira via TKO, round two. Put it on wax.     

Props

Lewis: TKO/KO (+275) Sub (+3000) Dec (+1600) 

Teixeira: TKO/KO (-185) Sub (+750) Dec (+1400)

Winner: Tallison Teixeira | Method: TKO Rd.2

Wonder, Boy (+320) vs. Gabriel Bonfim (-430)

Wonder, Boy: DK: $6.9k | Bonfim: DK: $9.3k

Joaquin Buckley put a pause in Wonder, Boy’s name. He put a comma in that bish. Wonder, Boy is grammatically correct now.  Wonder, Boy, as in, I wonder what happened to that Boy? Hit that Birdman shit! Stephen Thompson needs no introduction is the only introduction he needs. He’s a walking, fighting ode to ‘90s action films – Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Tony Ja – all that shit. Wonder, Boy would have been in a movie with DMX had he been fighting back in the ‘90s and early 2000s. If he gets a dub at age forty-two (born just six days after yours truly) against Gabriel Bonfim, Sly Stallone said he would make Wonder, Boy the bad guy in The Expendables 5. But even while nearing his mid-forties, Wonder, Boy’s hands and feet haven’t lost a step. I had Wonder, Boy up 2-0 before he got caught with that Buckley leaping elk punch. If Gabriel Bonfim can’t get Wonder, Boy to the mat and keep him there, Wonder, Boy will kick Bonfim’s face... off.   

Still B.O.Y. Wonder, Boy still has that phrogger hand speed. He will get inside the pocket and land a four-piece combo with two sides and a drink, then exit without you even knowing he was there. Clearly, Father Time has no takedowns. Wonder, Boy is still out here scrapping with him. Maybe this will be the time Wonder, Boy points to the mat like Max Holloway, and the two finish it once and for all. We’ll see if Father Time is really bout it, bout it. Wonder, Boy is the man who made Karate cool again. His special weapons are his side kicks. There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to engage, and every time you come forward, you get kicked in the chest or gut. Timing, speed, and deceit. That’s the Wonder, Boy holy trinity. Wonder, Boy will piece you up and have time to watch it live from his hotel room with room service.   

And he does it all with a smile on his face. Hallmark should make Wonder, Boy sympathy cards: “Sorry you got your ass kicked. I hope we can still be friends. Yours Truly...” With a little picture of the “Hang in There” kitten. He could be the face of Mr. Nice Guy. When life gets hard, pick up that card with Wonder, Boy’s smiley face. If he stays on his feet, he will be smiling down at a prone Gabriel Bonfim somewhere in the middle of the third round. But that is entirely up to his sixty-three percent takedown defense. Wonder, Boy’s takedown D takes a lot of shit (disgusting play on words), but he is actually tough to hold down. Given all the grapplers the UFC continues to throw at him, Wonder, Boy has only been submitted once. That was to The Head Furry in Charge, Shavkat.   

But if anybody can submit Wonder, Boy, Gabriel “Yo Gabba Gabba” Bonfim can. He’s the Arnold to his twin brother Ismael’s Danny DeVito. Bonfim has steamrolled everyone he has faced except Nicolas Dalby. And he steamrolled Dalby in the first round. The second round was a different story. Bonfim looked like a Lambo with a John Deere engine in that fight. I have a sneaking suspicion that Bonfim might be the Cyber Truck of the UFC. He looks dope but not really at the same time. He’s boxy and square and almost looks like he was built by a four-year-old with Magna-Tiles. But he also has some pretty dope features. At the same time, you always have to be wary of that MF locking you inside and self-driving you off a cliff. What I’m trying to say is, Bonfim doesn’t look anything like his profile picture in the second round.  

The key to beating Bonfim is setting the pace. Dalby was able to outlast Bonfim by making Bonfim work nonstop for the first five minutes. Even when Dalby was taken down, he got back to his feet and made Bonfim work to get him back down. If you can make Bonfim work, he will eventually hit a wall like Sonny Bono hitting trees. And I ain’t talking about that sticky icky. I’m talking redwoods. Bonfim huffs and puffs and gets a little wheezy. And we ain’t talking Lil Wayne. But don't get it twisted, Bonfim will beat you like King Kong’s chest if he gets you to the mat. Especially early. He is a straight ass-kicker. Fook the golden boot, this guy won the brown boot seventeen out of eighteen career fights. This guy is a mermaid on the mat. He straight swims on it. And when he gets the top position, he rides you like Genuine. Yo! Hit that Ginuwine “Pony!” He rides you until you get desperate and do something rash to escape. Then he snatches your neck like a Death Row chain.  

On the feet, Bonfim is all wide hooks and overhands, and his footwork looks like he has guilty feet. And you already know guilty feet got no rhythm. Hit that “Careless Whisper!” He’s heavy and flat-footed on the feet, but he has plenty of power. He has the power that Wonder, Boy has always lacked. Bonfim is 17-1 with three TKOs/KOs and thirteen subs. Bonfim averages over five SLpM compared to Wonder, Boy’s just over four. But Bonfim doesn’t have nearly the recorded Octagon time as Wonder, Boy. 

The most important number is (-380). Bonfim is the heavy favorite. Wonder, Boy is the (+290) live-ass dog. He will always be a live-ass dog until the day he leaves the gloves in the center of the Octagon. If Wonder, Boy can protect his neck in the first round, I think Bonfim will slowly fade. Wonder, Boy may only have a five-minute window in the third round to win this fight. But that’s enough for me. Give me Wonder, Boy to drop the comma from his name. Wonderboy via TKO, round three. On wax.  

Props

Wonderboy: TKO/KO (+900) Sub (+3500) Dec (+550) 

Bonfim: TKO/KO (+550) Sub (+125) Dec (+200)

Winner: Wonderboy | Method: TKO Rd.3

Calvin Kattar (+110) vs. Steve Garcia (-130)

Kattar: DK: $7.8k | Garcia: DK:$8.4k

These two are The Odd Couple. One man’s downfall is another man’s come-up. This is an example of elevators headed in opposite directions. One heading to the parking garage in the basement, the other to the helicopter pad on the roof. A quick glance at their Sherdog records will clarify which fighter is which. Calvin “& Hobbs” Kattar’s recent record looks like driving home from Las Vegas on a Sunday morning.  

Drive Carefully 

Come Back  

Soon 

All brake lights. Kattar has lost four fights in a row and five of his last six. While “Searching For” Steven Garcia is in the HOV lane with nothing but open road stretching to the horizon after five straight dubs and six of his last seven. Garcia is the Mad Hatter of the UFC, a wild fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants fighter who fights like he was promised a tomorrow. What he severely lacks in technical prowess, Garcia more than makes up for with unmitigated aggression. The good news for Calvin Kattar is that Garcia hasn’t attempted a takedown in his previous six fights. This should be a stand-up banger, the type of fight Kattar used to thrive in. Used to.   

Steve Garcia fights like 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... This guy will fook you up quicker than lunch from a Calcutta street vender. I’m talking cutting chicken cutlets with your toenails fook you up. Five minutes or less: That’s the Steve Garcia Guarantee. If he doesn’t fook you up in five minutes or less, the next ass whoopin’ is on the house. It ain’t pretty, a Steve Garcia ass whoopin’. His style on the feet looks like he’s just flailing, drowning in an imaginary sea. When Garcia starts slanging wild punches, you expect to see David Hasselhoff, chest naked, run up in that bish in slow motion with the red rescue buoy in tow.

“Uh, thanks, Dave. But where’s Pamela?” 

Steve Garcia wants all the smoke like chimneys. What’s crazy about Garcia is that he looks like the worst player on every Little League team you played on. He looks like a permanent right fielder. But don’t let that fool you. This guy’s M.O. is pulling off some shit like Amber Heard’s maids. When the chips are down, Garcia sprays himself in the mouf with silver paint like an Immortan Joe foot soldier and doesn't stop swinging until his opponent is sleeping or he wakes up in Valhalla. Either outcome is okay with Steve. The key to beating Garcia is turning him into Scuba Steve Garcia and drowning him in deep waters. It has been five years since Garcia saw a third round. For his career, Garcia is 17-5 with fourteen TKOs/KOs. In eight UFC bouts, only one fight went the distance. Garcia even has a TKO dub over Chase Hooper.  

The L’s are piling up like Tetris for Calvin Kattar. His downfall can be traced back to Max Holloway. Kattar earned SAG credits for his interpretation of the slab of meat Rocky punches in the meat cooler in that fight. He died all noine lives in that Max fight and has just been on some Weekend at Bernie’s, going through the motions, type-shit ever since. If there is even a sip of the old Kattar left in the carton, he should dominate this fight. He is a far superior technical striker. But lately, Kattar has reminded me of the dead people in the Pixar movie Coco who slowly begin to fade away as they are forgotten in the physical world. Calvin is semitransparent now. He has become all but forgotten entirely. You have to go back three years to see Kattar actually fight like his former self.   

But when Kattar was in his prime, he was one of the best strikers in the division. They still wheel out his hands on a little silver tray before fights. He’s surgical with his hands like Alonzo is surgical with the shotty, “You know I’m surgical with this bish, Jake.” You can’t eat or drink twenty-four hours before fighting Kattar. His special move is turning punches into elbows when he gets inside the pocket. His hand and elbow combinations are deadly. He will carve up your face and leave you looking like the Exorcist girl real quick. Those elbows will be the key to combating Garcia’s uber aggression. Kattar can counter Garcia’s pressure with elbows, allowing Garcia to run right into them and subsequently hang himself.   

The striking numbers: Garcia averages five SLpM compared to Kattar’s four and a half. Barring an early finish, this fight should produce solid striking stats for both fighters. Garcia is the slightest (-115) favorite, and Kattar is the (-105) live-ass dog. If this fight happened just a few years ago, Kattar would all but walk through Garcia. But it ain’t 2022. My reservations for Garcia are that his wild style has a shelf life. Eventually, he will run into superior strikers who will pick him apart. Is that Calvin Kattar? I like playing Garcia for an early finish. There is value in a late Kattar finish, but I like playing him for a decision. This might be the last time I pick Kattar to win a fight. Calvin Kattar via decision. Put it on wax.     

Props

Garcia: TKO/KO (+165) Sub (+1600) Dec (+400) 

Kattar: TKO/KO (+200) Sub (+1600) Dec (+450)

Winner: Calvin Kattar | Method: Decision

Nate Landwehr (+225) vs. Morgan Charriere (-275)

Nate: DK: $7.3k | Charriere: DK: $8.9k

Nate Diaz, Nate Dogg, and Nate Landwehr: The Nate Holy Trinity. And like Aftermath, there ain’t nothing after that. “Nizzy” Nate Landwehr is a San Diego legend after his show-stealing dub over David Onama in the San Diego Sports Arena in 2022. I love heavily flawed fighters who overachieve. So, naturally, I love me some Nate Landwehr. Yo! Hit that Korn “Freak on a Leash!” Because something takes a part of me every time Nate loses. I hate it like I hate watching the Angels squander another bases-loaded situation without scoring a single fookin’ run. But after some steps up in competition, Morgan Charriere is the perfect opponent to get Nate “The Train” back on track. After losing two of his last three, Nate has been less of a speeding locomotive and more of a Percy shunting trucks and hauling freight.   

Nate Landwehr’s recent struggles center around his compromised chin. I’m talking compromised like every member of the U.S. government. Nate is starting to get that Jim Beam wobbly chin. Wobble, wobble. Shake it, shake it. That AA “I have a problem” chin. Homie turns into drunk Van Damme in Kickboxer dancing at the bar at least twice in every fight. Even late in the Onama fight, a fight he all but dominated from bell to bell. He still busted out the gyrating hips like an Elvis impersonator. But Landwehr has become a fan favorite because he has achieved First Team All Bruce Willis honors for five years running since his debut. Nate Dies Hard. Harder than Calculus. When Nate goes out, he goes out like Mickey Santoro in Casino. I’m talking Louisville Sluggers and buried alive type-ish.   

Nate’s motto: One for the show; two for the show. Nizzy Nate doesn’t do it for the money; he does it for the honey. He fights like he’s riding that Jack D, no Diddy. That Tennessee sour mash swagger. That’s how Nate gets down. He has those illegal speakeasy hands and serves nothing but barrel-aged ass whoopin’s. Nate’s M.O. is marching you down like a drill sergeant. He goes straight Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on your ass and turns you into Gome Pyle real fookin’ quick. But didn’t Gomer Pyle kill Sergeant... At the opening bell, Nate throws the kitchen sink and follows up with the bathtub, with the water in it. Elbows, knees, kicks, the clinch, takedowns, submissions, crispy hand combinations; it’s all in play on the feet for Nate. And keep your eye on his sneaky D’arce/Anaconda chokes while in transition.  

“Captain” Morgan Charriere is back. And he is itching to strike the Captain Morgan pose on another prone body. The problem is, Charriere tends to alternate with each performance between Captain Morgan and Cap’n Crunch. I call him The Weekdy because he looks like a sober version of The Weeknd. But his fighting style reminds me of Tyrone Woodley. Charriere used to go to kids' parties dressed as Tyrone Woodley and make balloon animals. And now Tyrone Woodley goes to kids’ parties dressed as Morgan Charriere and makes balloon animals. “Lifes a trip, qué, no?” Charriere is like Tyrone Woodley on fifty percent charge. He has decent power-doubles, and if he gets you to the mat, he will hold you down like a true down-ass Betty. Like a real keeper. But he doesn’t offer much else on the mat – no ground and pound or submissions. 

On the feet, Charriere is all right hands and left hooks. His special weapon is the round kick to the body. He will turn your innie into an outtie real fookin’ quick. Fook shuffle mode; he sets that bish on repeat and works the body like pizza dough. But his major malfunction is his lazy-ass defense. Do the dishes-ass defense. Stay in your pajamas all damn day-ass defense. Hands down and chin up. That’s how Charriere exits the pocket after every exchange. And Mark Jackson already told you, “Hands down, man down.” Charriere is 20-11 with twelve TKOs/KOs and three subs. He will have to increase his output on the feet if he wants to keep up with Nate on the feet. Charriere averages just under three and a half SLpM compared to Nate’s over five and a half.  

What... the... fu... Charriere is the (-260) favorite, and Nate is the (+215) live-ass disrespected dog. I don’t check the odds until I’ve made my pick. I could be off on this one, but I thought Nate would be the slight favorite. He fought better competition and has had way bigger moments. Also, he’s more well-rounded than Charriere. Don’t sleep on Nate’s grappling. The big issue is Nate’s chin. And he gets hit way too much. But I think Nate is the bigger finishing threat. I like playing him for a submission. Charriere will shoot lazy takedowns late in fights. And Nate will snatch that neck and gator roll real quick. I like playing Charriere for a decision. But I came here to make D jokes and pick Nate Landwehr. And, for this week, I’m all outta D jokes. “Look at me! Nate is the captain now!” Nate Landwehr via Anaconda choke, round three. Put it on wax.   

Props

Charriere: TKO/KO (+650) Sub (+1800) Dec (+450)  

Nate: TKO/KO (+225) Sub (+1000) Dec (+130)

Winner: Nate Landwehr | Method: Anaconda Choke Rd.3

Junior Tafa (-170) vs. George Tokkos (+150)

Tafa: DK: $8.7k | Tokkos: DK: $7.6k

This is a seventh-inning stretch bathroom scrap at Dodger Stadium. Junior “Mint” Tafa is one-half of the infamous Tafa brothers. They are known for their stupid power and atrocious grappling. A rolling Tafa gathers no moss. That’s why Junior and Justin Tafa cruise around town looking like the Hulk. If a Tafa falls in the Octagon and nobody is there to see it, does he get back up? When the Tafa brothers get taken down, they turn into an episode of Life After People covered in vines and vegetation. They get reclaimed by the earth. Junior rocks a respectable seventy-seven percent takedown defense, but he couples it with Pompei get-ups. If George Tokkos has any wrestling to speak of, he will get this fight to the mat at the glove touch.  

But on their feet, the Tafa brothers stay strapped like car seats. Strapped like psych wards. The Tafa’s turn the Octagon into Top Golf and tee off as soon as the bell rings. They tee off like John Daly. Fook Blue Origin, the Tafa brothers will really send you into orbit. There isn’t much difference between the two brothers. When it comes to fighting, they are one and the same. They have more power than Duracell. Their hands have a thirty-year cool-down period like nuclear reactors. When they let their hands and feet go, the arena looks like a model home in the middle of the New Mexico desert with mannequins having tea and listening to the radio inside.  

The Tafas are dangerous kickboxers who haven’t quite adapted to MMA. They still have plenty of rough edges. The path to victory against them looks like the opening scene in The Sound of Music on the mat. The hills are alive with the sound of music, homies. Hit that shit! Junior is 6-3 with six TKOs/KOs. And he is coming in off a second-round TKO of a discarded Bud Light can in his last appearance.  

Tokkos Tuesdays. Tuco is back. This guy takes Ls to the face like Luniz takes sacks to the face. Hit that “I Got 5 On It!” Tokkos is 0-3 in the UFC, but he hasn’t been given an easy path. Call Tokkos “The Witcher” because he only fights monsters. In his last bout, Navajo Stirling ripped Tokko's arms off like a Jax Fatality and beat Tokkos with them. “Stop hitting yourself!” I won’t beat around or anywhere near the bush. Hit that 2Pac “I See Death Around the Corner.” I feel like I’m in an M. Night Shamalamala movie because I see dead people. Tokkos is that person in a zombie movie who gets bitten and doesn’t tell anyone. He's a dead man walking. He might as well wear a black suit and tie into the Octagon and put some rouge on his cheeks. Unless... 

He can get Tafa to the mat. So, you’re saying there’s a chance? I hate Tokkos’ chances on the feet, but he has more MMA experience than Tafa. And it doesn’t take much to get Tafa to the mat. Just a little persistence. Don’t look now, but Tukkos landed three takedowns against Navajo Sterling and clocked in four minutes of control time in a fight that went the distance. The question is, can he last long enough on his feet to get Tafa down? 

Tafa is the (-165) favorite, and Tokkos is the (+135) live dog. I’ve talked myself into seeing a legitimate path to victory for Tokkos. It will be a scenic route. But if he can get Tafa down at least three times, he can win this fight. The play for Tokkos is riding out the top position to a decision. The play for Tafa is an early TKO/KO. But Fantasy-wise, he will be worthless without a finish. Junior “Mint” Tafa via TKO, round one. Wax on, wax off.  

Props

Tafa: TKO/KO (-120) Sub (+2800) Dec (+800)  

Tokkos: TKO/KO (+350) Sub (+500) Dec (+900)

Winner: Junior Tafa | Method: TKO Rd.1

Prelims

$7k Value Menu

Nate Landwehr ($7.3k): A Nate Landwehr submission is warming up in the on-deck circle. Nizzy Nate is known for his death-defying striking, but don’t forget the time he submitted Ludovit Klein. Recently, Klein went three full rounds against one of the best grapplers in the division, Mateusz Gamrot. Lamdwehr is handy with D’arce/Anaconda chokes, which are natural takedown repellents. If Morgan Charriere gets lazy down the stretch and shoots a half-ass takedown or two, Nate will snatch that neck. Also, Nate is a more well-rounded striker. If Charriere can't get Nate to the mat early, he will relent to a kickboxing match, which should lead to solid striking stats for Nate. Nate’s red flag: His chin. If Charriere touches his chin, it could be an early night for Nate. Three of his four UFC losses were TKOs/KOs, and two were inside the first round.   

Valter Walker ($7.4k): Valter Walker is the younger brother of Johnny Walker, and the only brothers crazier than those two are Richie and Seth Gecko. These guys have toys in the attic, if you know what I mean. Valter may be the craziest of the two. Unlike his older brother, Valter is a wrestling/grappling specialist. He will be in a wrestler vs. striker matchup against Kennedy Nzechukwu. This will be a mismatch for one fighter, regardless of where the fight takes place. This will be Walker’s five takedowns per fifteen minutes versus Kennedy’s eighty-one percent career takedown defense. In a way, Walker is an all-or-nothing Fantasy option. If he can’t get Kennedy to the mat, he will get his ass cracked like pinkies and single ply TP. Walker averages less than two SLpM compared to Kennedy’s five and a half. But if he gets Kennedy to the mat, he won’t be getting up. Walker is coming in off back-to-back heel hook submissions, and he has the top control to ground Kennedy like punishment for fifteen minutes. 

Calvin Kattar ($7.8k): There will be few opportunities to gain finishing points of the Value Menu this week. One of the best shots is Calvin Kattar. But he hasn’t finished a fight in five years and hasn’t won a fight in over three? This pick is more based on Kattar’s opponent, Steve Garcia. Garcia is gas, dip, and no brakes. Homie is the definition of a voyeur striker. He lets it all hang out. Kattar will be the far more technical striker in this matchup and has faced much better competition. The Kattar of old would have dominated this matchup from bell to bell. The key will be Kattar’s standing counter elbows. He is excellent at turning punches into elbows inside the pocket. Against an uber aggressive fighter like Garcia, Kattar’s counter elbows could change the tide. Never forget Kattar’s vicious elbow KO of Jeremy Stephens. If there is anything left of the 2020 Kattar, he will stay out of harm’s way early, and take over in the second and third rounds.  

 $6k Clearance Rack

Wonder, Boy ($6.9k): Wonder, Boy on the Clearance Rack: I never thought I’d see it. But here we are. If he can survive the first round, Wonder, Boy’s chances of pulling off the upset will increase exponentially. It’s a misnomer that Wonder, Boy’s takedown defense is trash. His career sixty-three percent takedown defense would provide evidence of such claims. But Wonder, Boy’s problem isn’t defending takedowns or even getting back to his feet. It’s creating separation after he defends. Much like Jose Aldo, he just can’t get his back off the cage, which allows opponents to maintain control. This isn’t a fight on the feet. Gabriel Bonfim is far from a joke on the feet, but he can’t handle Wonder, Boy’s forty-two-year-old speed. Wonder, Boy is still fast as fook boooooooy! If Wonder, Boy can thwart a couple of early takedowns, it will be his fight to lose on the feet. It will be difficult for Wonder, Boy to rack up high significant strikes while defending takedowns. But a late finish isn’t out of the question.   

Twenty-Twen-Twen Sleepers

Nate Landwehr (+225): This card is filled with mismatches – filled with massive favorites. The odds for Landwehr vs. Charriere are off. This fight is practically a toss-up. Nate has the big fight experience and a more well-rounded game. His major malfunction is his chin. Opposites attract. Nate’s defensive prowess doesn’t match his offensive prowess. But he is the far more diverse striker of the two. Nate uses all his weapons on the feet, while Charriere is more of a pure boxer with a nasty right round kick. If Nate can stay away from Charriere’s right hand, he will run away with this fight. Also, Charriere tends to fade a little late. Nate never fades like the paint on grandpappy’s ‘67 Caddy. I dare Morgann Charriere to shoot a lazy takedown in the third round. I double-dog dare him! Nate will snatch that neck and gator roll right into a submission dub.   

Wonderboy (+320): I’m dropping the comma Joaquin Buckley put in Wonderboy’s name. Against Buckley (before Wonderboy got KO’d midway through the third round), I saw a Wonderboy who still had his trademark hand and foot speed. He was pitching a gem heading into the third round. Buckley looked frustrated. But Buckley caught Wonderboy slippin’ for one moment and made him pay. Bonfim won’t have that type of power on the feet late if Wonderboy can avoid an early submission. It won’t be close on the feet after the first round. Wonderboy will likely need a late Haliburton three at the buzzer to pull off the upset, but I like his chances.   

Valter Walker (+175): We will know within the first minute if Walker will pull off the upset. He will either get Kennedy Nzechukwu to the mat with the quickness, or his attempt will get stuffed, he will be stranded on the feet, and it will be a Kennedy delivering a killshot for once. I’m picking Kennedy to win, but I’m not confident. The first round could get very hairy for Kennedy if he ends up on his back. Walker has a solid five minutes of hard wrestling in him before he will relent to a stand-up fight. Walker is coming in off back-to-back heel hook submissions. It’s not out of the question that he could make it three in a row. 

Pick ‘Em

Vitor Petrino (-700) vs. Austen Lane (+475)  

Winner: Vitor Petrino 

Method: Decision 

Chris Curtis (-310) vs. Max Griffin (+255)  

Winner: Chris Curtis 

Method: Decision 

Chidi Njokuani (-150) vs. Jake Matthews (+130)  

Winner: Chidi Njokuani 

Method: Decision 

Lauren Murphy (+430) vs. Eduarda Moura (-625) 

Winner: Eduarda Moura 

Method: Decision 

 Kennedy Nzechukwu (-205) vs. Valter Walker (+175) 

 Winner: Kennedy Nzechukwu 

Method: TKO Rd.3 

Mike Davis (-1000) vs. Mitch Ramirez (+625) 

Winner: Mike Davis 

Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.3 

Fatima Kline (+1500) vs. Melissa Martinez (+775) 

Winner: Fatima Kline 

Method: Decision 

Thanks for reading LineStar Weekly Knockout! We'll be back next Thursday with another one. Until then, good luck and support your local MMA Gym.

About Me

My name is Chris Guy, and I’m an avid combat sports enthusiast and practitioner. I’ve been a fan of MMA since the early 2000s when Limewire was still around, and I downloaded Bas Rutten’s Big Book of Combat. In 2004, I started training Muay Thai at City Boxing in San Diego, CA. I competed as an amateur for many years, and I've also dabbled in Jiu-Jitsu. I follow many different disciplines, such as Combat Ji-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Glory Kickboxing, Boxing, and MMA.

I’m equally as enthusiastic about the craft of writing, and in addition to writing about combat sports, I also write short fiction and music. I hope to bring unique prose to sports writing, and along the way, encourage people to not only become Martial Arts fans but to also become Martial Artists themselves.

In the future, you may see me refer to the Thunderdome; it's an ode to the old Mad Max movie and refers to the world-class training facility I built in my one-car garage. It's complete with throw dummies, wrestling mats, heavy bags, and six months' worth of Chef Boyardee cans from when I thought the world was going to end back in March.

I hope you enjoy my work, and if you don’t, the Thunderdome has an open door policy.