Written by LineStar contributor, combat sports enthusiast, and practitioner, Chris Guy. Instagram: @therealsethgeko | Twitter: @DadHallOfFamer

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He clicked the intercom button, waited for the beep, and said, “Miss Andrade, can you cancel my eleven o’clock?  

A short beep, then a response, “Sure, Mr. Miller. What reason should I provide?”

Spread out on the lopsided Ikea desk was a mountain of Sherdog and Tapology profiles and a moat of others encircling it on the floor that had toppled off. He shook his head at the thought of the impossible task ahead and sighed, “Tell them whatever you feel is best. I just have too many resumes for the vacant opening shift to go over.”  

“Ok, Mr. Miller, I’ll handle it.”  

Beep. Click.  

It was at times like this that he wondered why he had wanted this position in the first place. How had he come to think taking on the department supervisor role while still being an active fighter wouldn’t create more work for himself?  

He picked up a small stack of folders and rifled through them. Anthony Smith... tossed aside. Edson Barboza... tossed aside. Rob Font... Next. A new stack. Curtis Blaydes... Hmm. He set it on the “maybe” pile. Next. Neil Magny... Nah, they still needed him on swings. His eyebrows raised as he held up the next two side by side. 

He clicked the intercom button, waited for the beep, and said, “Miss Andrade, can I have them fight for it?” 

A short beep, then a response, “Who? Fight for what?” 

He waited for the beep, “The applicants for the gatekeeper opening shift. Can they fight for it? Winner gets the position.” 

No response. 

A short beep, then a response, “Well, technically, you would be providing an equal opportunity, and I don’t see anything in the employee handbook that explicitly prohibits it.” 

Beep. Click. 

He steepled his fingers and, like Mr. Burns, said, “Excellent.” Into the intercom after the beep, he said, “Thank you, Miss Andrade. You can tell upper management the position should be filled by no later than Saturday.”  

A short beep, then a response, “Will do. I’ll fire off an email ASAP. 

Beep. Click. 

With one giant sweep of his arm, he shoved the remaining profiles to the floor. All that remained were the two leading candidates, Vincente Luque and Rafael Dos Anjos.  

Maybe it won’t be so bad after all. 

Mr. Miller sat back in the Ikea office chair, kicked away from the desk, and squeaked all the way to the other end of the room. He stood up, grabbed the day’s three questions from the printer, and headed for his shift at the Bridge of Death.  

Main Card 

Vicente Luque (Even) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (-125)

Luque: DK: $8k | Anjos: DK:$8.2k

Since Donald Cerrone’s retirement last year, there has been an opening at the Bridge of Death for a first-shift gatekeeper. It’s a coveted spot, in early/out early, and there’s been no shortage of applicants. There’s no fighter more qualified than Rafael Dos Anjos, who’s been fighting in the UFC since video games were still one hundred twenty-eight bits. Now we have VR goggles and AI that can do anything from write a senior thesis to clean your ass. AI-assisted bidets. And up until April of 2022, Vicente Luque was a quiet 14-3 in the UFC, dating back to his debut in 2015. But Luque’s title hopes took a big hit in the past calendar year with back-to-back L’s to Belal Muhammad and Geoff Neil.  

So, we are left with two members of the League of Super Veterans with plenty left in the tank, and who are tough tests for any young up-and-coming fighters looking to break into the top ten. Gatekeepers. But I don’t use the term “Gatekeeper” as a pejorative; I use it as the ultimate sign of respect for having achieved something more difficult in this sport than a world title, longevity. Six Degrees of Vicente Luque and Rafael Dos Anjos: These two have been in the game for so long that it is said all fighters are six or fewer opponents away from a connection with Luque and Dos Anjos. But although it took almost a decade for their paths to cross, the biggest win of their careers was over a common opponent, Father Time.  

Cue “Cinderella Man” by Eminem: “Spit a rhyme to freeze a clock, take the hands of time and cuff ‘em.” 

When Rafael Dos Anjos won the title against Anthony Pettis, he was one of the scariest strikers in the game. He kicked the shit outta Prime Nate Diaz’s legs to earn a title shot and KO’d Prime Donald Cerrone in just over a minute to defend the belt. This guy is the Ultimate Gus Fring striker; the left side of his body turns people to ash like Pompei. He has a mini Cro Cop left round kick and short overhands and hooks heavier than guilt. Vintage Dos Anjos would set his left kick on repeat with the ten-second anti-skip button activated and kick opponents' arms until they went back to their corner looking like Red after his bike was stolen. “He ‘gone cry in the car.” One of the biggest travesties in the UFC's history is that we never saw Dos Anjos fight McGregor at one-fifty-five. He was a perfect matchup for Prime Conor McGregor and likely McGregor’s kryptonite at the time. 

But now Dos Anjos has a Zorro mustache and relies mostly on his wrestling game. He's been on that Corey Sandhagen shit. Dos Anjos has always implemented wrestling in his game plans, but he was more willing to stand before he jumped to welterweight. Dos Anjos has an excellent power wrestling game and sleep paralysis top control; when he gets you down, there is little hope of getting up. His special move is the arm triangle from the top; he will attack it constantly, and it’s a choke that is easy to get caught in during a transition.  

The keys for Dos Anjos against Luque will be leg kicks and takedowns. Dos Anjos is the Bone Collector; there are hundreds of tibias and fibulas in a trophy case in his living room. When it comes to the lower calf kick, Dos Anjos was one of the first to make it a staple in his repertoire after Jim Miller was credited with its discovery. Luque’s biggest weakness is his takedown defense; he rocks a sixty-percent career takedown defense, and Dos Anjos averages two takedowns per fifteen minutes. Dos Anjos has to test Luque’s wrestling prowess early and look to steal rounds with late takedowns because it will likely be fairly even on the feet. For his career, Dos Anjos is 32-14 with five TKO/KOs and eleven subs. His path to a finish will be on the mat, looking to bait Luque into an arm triangle or giving up his back. 

Vicente Luque is the ultimate pocket gunslinger, a Roland Deschain. Luque doesn’t live in the pocket; he dwells in it; he’s Smeagol in that bish. Luque’s boxing is tight and technical, and he likes to fight in a box. Whenever you try to escape from the box, he cuts you off, corralling you with hooks and peppering round kicks. His “Get Over Here!” special move is the two-three (cross-hook), and Luque keeps his elbows tucked tight to the body, which allows him to throw short, crisp strikes that travel along the quickest path to the target. But Luque’s trademark is that he never ever takes a step back; he fights on a ledge. “Step back from that ledge, my friend.”  

Grab the Jerry Rice compression socks. Leg kick the leg kicker. Luque is also an excellent leg kicker. These guys might run around the Octagon like a couple of Dale and Brennan stepbrothers giving each other Charlie horses. For both fighters, the best way to neutralize a leg kicker is to kick their legs too. Most prominent leg-kickers are terrible at defending them. Luque’s biggest red flags are a lack of head movement, and he struggles against southpaws. Ted Williams’s head has better movement than Vicente Luque. Where’s Edmond Tarverdyan when you need him? “Head movement! Head movement!” Three of Luque’s last four losses came to a southpaw, and Belal fights out of both stances, so it could technically be all four. And Dos Anjos is a southpaw like Jake Gyllenhaal. 

Luque is 21-9 for his career with eleven TKO/KOs and eight subs. I’m getting Kevin Holland vs. Michael Chiesa vibes here. Luque is handy with D’arce/Anaconda chokes which act as natural takedown repellents. If Dos Anjos gets lazy and stalls on a takedown, Luque can snatch his neck. Like Holland, Luque also beat Chiesa with an Anaconda choke. Fantasy-wise, Luque is the higher-output striker, averaging five and a half strikes to Dos Anjos’ three and a half. Both fighters are finishing threats, but I think Luque’s power makes him a bigger threat on the feet, and it might be a push on the mat, but Dos Anjos operates out of the top position more. 

Rafael Dos Anjos is a slight (-120) favorite, and I imagine that reflects Dos Anjos’ ground game and Luque’s lack of takedown defense. Luque is coming in at even money, which makes this a virtual pick ‘em. Dos Anjos’ game plan will likely lead to a decision, and I think Luque will have to finish the fight because he will have to make up for time lost on his back. A Dos Anjos TKO/KO will return (+650), and a sub (+400). A Luque TKO/KO will return (+250), and a sub (+450). The main event winning streak sits at six and eleven of the last twelve. But even with all that momentum, I have no inkling who will win this one. But I’m gonna ride the Kevin Holland vibe. Vicente Luque via D’arce choke, round three. On wax.  

Winner: Vicente Luque | Method: D’arce Choke Rd.3

Hakeem Dawodu (-240) vs. Cub Swanson (+185)

Dawodu: DK: $9k | Cub: DK: $7.2k

Speaking of super veterans. Cub Swanson is a double OG whose professional career dates back to the golden WEC years. The lighter weight classes were developed in the WEC before being assimilated into the UFC roster. Back in the day, the UFC didn’t have anything below the welterweight division, and the Aldos, Cerrones, Uriah Faber’s, and Dominick Cruz’s of the MMA world made their names in the WEC. Cub Swanson made his UFC debut in 2011, and this will be his twenty-third promotional appearance. Don’t let Cub’s name fool you—he's not Shavkat’s Furry wingman—this dude is a certified Van Damme Lion Heart, a Ghost in the Darkness maneater who, win or lose, always takes more than a pound of flesh (Except for that one time Jose Aldo double flying knee KO’d him like Ben Askren). 

Cub Swanson is a South-Central Low Rider to the core. He carries his hands down by his waist and launches all his punches from the lower peripheral. Cub’s strikes travel upward and make them hard to track, and he puts one hundred percent power into every shot. He leans like a Cholo and swings from the top of his Nike Cortez and lets the elotes fall where they may. Swanson’s trademark is aggression; he sells out and sends the zero blitz on every exchange while switching stances and changing levels, going from body to head and vice versa. Watching Cub strike is like watching a game of MMA HORSE. This guy will throw anything at any given time; the unexpected is the only expectation in a Cub fight. Against Darren Elkins, two fights ago, Cub scored the E with a spinning wheel kick and finished a guy with cockroach survivability.  

Cub is coming off a loss to the Civil War surgeon, Jonathan Martinez, a fight in which Martinez put on a pair of Sean Strickland shit-kickers and proceeded to kick the shit outta Cub’s legs. It will be interesting to see how Cub adjusts to his new prosthetic legs after that fight. Cub can get got. When your style is the definition of kill-or-be-killed, sometimes you have to respawn and start all over. But that’s part of the game, and Cub is a fighter’s fighter with a short memory. For his career, Cub is 28-13 with thirteen TKO/KOs and four subs. He averages over four and a half strikes landed per minute (SLpM), and his value will be in finishing a guy who has only been finished once in his career. Hakeem Dawodu is a pristine striker who prefers a controlled traditional kickboxing match. Cub will provide fire and brimstone and anything but a traditional kickboxing match. 

Hakeem Dawodu is speed and precision personified; he’s fast as f**k boooooy! When Hakeem strikes, he leaves behind an afterimage like a Polaroid negative. He doesn’t have power; he has speed and hits you with shit you don’t even see. It’s like fighting in a haunted Octagon and getting your ass kicked by an invisible entity. That’s that poltergeist speed. Hakeem is the perfect example of a high-output one-punch striker; although he attacks in basic 1s and 1-2s, he leaves little dead air between engagements and averages more SLpM than Cub at nearly five and a half. You wouldn’t guess that Dawodu is a higher output striker than Cub just by watching them. The key for Dawodu will be leading the dance and outworking Cub. Hakeem’s pristine style makes it hard to come back if he falls behind early as he did against Julian Erosa in his last bout. He needs to get out ahead and fight with a lead. 

Red flags: He’s too technical. Too technical? What do you mean too technical? “Too high? What does that mean, too high? You mean, too hard.” Hakeem tends to wait for the perfect conditions to engage and falls into predictable attacks. Dawodu needs to diversify his bonds, use more weapons and open up more with his kicks. He needs to update his arsenal like the Terminator breaking into the police precinct. Also, Dawodu has solid takedown defense, but his Jiu-Jitsu sets out the “Be Back in 15 Minutes” sign when he ends up on his back. Cub could look to steal rounds by sneaking in some timely takedowns and clocking some top control. Finally, he has to get rid of the burnt Ramen blonde hair he rocked in his last bout against “Juicy J” Julian Erosa. Shit wasn’t poppin’, homie. I ain’t your homie, chief. I ain’t your chief, boss.  

Bring ‘em out! Bring ‘em out! Cub will be the live (+195) dog itchin' to get at the mailman’s ass. Cub has the perfect style to disrupt the more technically sound Dawodu. Cub can create chaos and make Dawodu get out of his comfort zone. If Julian Erosa can dominate Dawodu on the feet, Cub can pose similar problems. When it comes to the better finishing threat, that’s Cub Swanson. Hakeem lacks power and has a similar finishing rate as whiskey shots and ten minutes in the White House library. For his career, Hakeem is 13-3 with seven TKO/KOs, and five of his six promotional wins came by decision. Dawodu’s advantage will be staying on the outside and using his speed to pick apart and out-point Cub. I’m going to be behind the Eightball on this one but fook it! Life’s a risk, carnal. Cub Swanson via TKO, round three. On wax.  

Winner: Cub Swanson | Method: TKO Rd.3

Khalil Rountree (-185) vs. Chris Daukaus (+155)

Rountree: DK: $8.9k | Daukaus: DK:$7.3k

Tong Po is back. Khalil Rountree is a man of one thousand styles, but his most ferocious style is when he goes straight Lumpinee Stadium Muay Thai on ‘em. Khalil has a split personality and can go from docile and timid to a Grizzly bear eating you ass-first quicker than a Tesla can go 0-60. The second round of the Karl Roberson fight was the most violent twenty-five seconds I’ve ever seen in the Octagon. Khalil got pissed in between rounds and went straight Tre from Boyz N the Hood swinging on Roberson, “I’m tired of this shit. I’m sick and tired of this shit! Come on! Come on at me, mf!” This time around, Karl Roberson will be played by Chris Daukaus, who is making his light heavyweight debut and riding a three-fight KO’d streak. This one has Bad News Bears written all over it, like chagrin written all over Adam22’s face. 

Bust out the glue and glass. Bring back Tong Po Khalil. There was a distinct difference in Rountree’s style after he trained extensively in Thailand. He came back with a traditional Muay Thai upright stance and a stomping lead leg. Speaking of stomping, he had Modestas Bukauskas walking around like a Mech Warrior after he Jon Jones stomped Bukauskas’s leg at the knee. This guy Khalil is just a straight heathen with scary hand speed... scary speed in general. His hands live life high speed, slightly disillusioned by weed. More than his power, fighters are overwhelmed by Khalil’s speed. He throws quick two-three punch combinations and uses framed hooks. Khalil locks out his arm at the elbow, creating a sturdy frame and wings shots from the shoulder. When you frame the arm, it lands with a higher force as opposed to a whipping hook that opens at the elbow. You sprinkle in some spontaneous combustion round kicks, and Rountree is one of the scariest strikers in the game. Sprinkle me, mane. 

Major Malfunctions: Khalil has multiple personalities. He is one of the most difficult fighters to bet on because you never know which Khalil will show up and for how long. Sometimes he comes out technical and patient—a little too patient—and doesn’t let his hands go. And then sometimes he wilds out for no reason at all and bites your face off like the Siegfried and Roy tiger, just suddenly decides to f**k you up after a round of respectful fisticuffs. He leaves you wondering why he doesn’t just keep the F**k You Up mode activated for the entire fight. Rountree fights in bursts, short violent blitzes, and then has to chill out and recharge for a minute or two before he explodes again. His Fantasy value is and will always be in a finish. He averages just three and a half SLpM but finished two of his last three dubs and is riding a three-fight dub streak. 

Cue the pallbearers dancing to EDM music meme. Tong Po is the last guy you want to be fighting in your debut at a new weight class after suffering three straight KO losses. But that’s the two-seven off suit Chris Daukaus was handed. Homie is 0-3 since quitting his day job and is one loss away from pursuing a career as a Soundcloud rapper. I hear the foot pic industry is booming. Daukaus and I have had a metaphorical whirlwind affair, played out on this here newsletter, since his debut in the year of the great toilet paper famine. He rattled off four straight TKO/KO dubs at heavyweight but immediately crumbled when he faced the top of the division. His claim to fame was his hand speed; he had deceptively fast hands for the weight class and snuck up on opponents. But over time, he has been shown to be painfully one-dimensional. 

Daukaus is a pure boxer, and his best attribute is that he throws his hooks palm-down and at a slight downward angle. This creates a chopping/slicing motion that causes a lot of damage and travels naturally around the guard. Ain’t no thang but a chicken wang. Daukaus chicken wings his elbows, flares them, and whips his strikes horizontally and often catches people hiding behind their guard. He also switches stances and provides different looks, but overall, Daukaus only attacks with hands. He’s a pure boxer and more of a throwback to the UFC 1 days than a modern mixed martial artist. For what it’s worth, he averages nearly six and a half SLpM and has four promotional TKO/KOs. Of seven UFC bouts, only two have made it to the second round, so his striking output is a little skewed. 

Tong Po will be the (-210) favorite, and Daukaus could be a parlay killer at (+170). A Rountree TKO/KO will return (-135), and a Daukaus TKO/KO will return (+240). A TKO/KO finish will be Daukaus’ only path to victory, so if you take the plunge, take the finish. But I have no idea what to expect from Daukaus. Will he trade in the Leatherface chest plate physique for a Paulo Costa physique and metamorphose into a butterfly, spread his wings, and sore to new heights? Maybe, but I’m riding with the Harvey Dent two-faced savage. Khalil Rountree via TKO, round two. 

Winner: Khalil Rountree | Method: TKO Rd.2

Pollyanna Viana (+160) vs. Iasmin Lucindo (-195)

Viana: DK: $7.5k | Lucindo: DK: $8.7k

Never bring a finger-in-the-hoodie-pocket gun to a fist fight against Polyana Viana. If you count her TKO/KO dub over a mugger who tried to jack her phone, Polyana would have four dubs in her last five bouts, all finishes. She left that mugger looking like he ordered The Admiral’s Feast at Red Lobster with a shellfish allergy. Homie looked like he was trying to bring back the measles and mumps like a 90s Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket. As impressive a win as that was for Viana, it won’t be that easy this time around. There won’t be any 10-7 rounds in this one. Her opponent, Iasmin Lucindo, is an up-and-coming sleeper in women’s MMA. 

There is only one stat to know about Polyana Viana, one hundred percent. She has a one hundred percent finishing rate with five TKO/KOs and eight submissions. She has prototypical Brazilian Muay Thai with squared shoulders and an upright stance, and she looks a little reminiscent of Charles Oliveira on the feet. Except Polyana doesn’t have anywhere near similar power. Viana has safety strikes; she uses sporks instead of forks; she has bumpers on her hands like bowling alleys. When she lands, her strikes turn into wild strays that have the people in the crowd taking cover. She has tight, long punches, snappy round kicks, and excellent standing knees to punctuate her hands. Viana’s major malfunction on her feet is a complete lack of head movement. If Viana had to move her head to save her life, grab the obituary. 

But on top of her striking, Viana has a specialty. Like Julija Stoliarenko, Polyana Viana is an armbar specialist on the mat. Six of her eight career subs came via armbar. Lucindo likes to mix in a little bit of top control throughout the fight, and no matter how the fight is going, Viana can change the tide completely in a blink. She will be at a slight disadvantage everywhere the fight goes, but Viana’s Fantasy upside is a moonshot. All she does is finish fights. It will likely be submission or bust for Viana, all or nothing. 

I think Iasmin Lucindo can be special. She is a well-rounded fighter with a mean streak in her. She probably started a Barbie Fight Club when she was a kid. On the feet, she has a little Pacman Manny Pacquiao in her, minus the hand speed, and on the mat, she has a little Amanda Nunes in her. She finishes combinations with her lead hand, a sneaky staple in Pacman’s game, and she slangs massive overhands when she wants to showcase her power. Lucindo also uses step-through crosses to close the distance and extend combos. A step-thru is when you step forward with your rear leg as you throw the rear hand.  

Lucindo can win this fight on the feet or on the mat. Although Viana has an excellent armbar, when she can’t land it, she gets dominated. When Viana loses it's usually because she was held on her back for fifteen minutes. Lucindo is 14-5 for her career with eight TKO/KOs and two subs. She is 1-1 in the UFC after losing her debut to the Joanna clone Yazmin Jauregui, but Lucindo is coming off a dominant dub against Brogan Walker. But going from Walker to Viana is like skipping steps two through eleven in a twelve-step program, a big step up. 

Lucindo will be the (-195) favorite, and Viana will be the (+160) dog. Bust out the Piso Mojado signs. Viana will be the bigger finishing threat and has long, straight punches that will fit perfectly between Lucindo’s wide overhands. A Lucindo TKO/KO will return (+400). A Viana TKO/KO will return (+800), and a submission (+350). Iasmin Lucindo via decision. You know what to do with it. Put it on wax. 

Winner: Iasmin Lucindo | Method: Decision

*The order of the bouts changed at the last minute after I wrote the next two. But what’s done is done, and it’s too late to turn back now.  

Terrance McKinney (-275) vs. Mike Breeden (+220)

McKinney: DK: $8.7k | Breeden: DK:$7.5k

I didn’t know this was going to be on the test. This was supposed to be a Cal Ripken Jr. playing in his final All-Star game grooved pitch for Lando Vannata, but it looks like he dropped the fight. I’m reacting in real-time to the switch-up. Terrance McKinney is stepping in on short notice after losing via submission about fifteen minutes ago. McKinney is the ultimate gamble, so it’s a good thing that is what we are all here for. This guy fights like every second of his life is the final second of his life. From the opening bell, McKinney fights like it’s five... four... three... like every day is two days before the day after tomorrow. And everyone knows tomorrow isn’t a promise that can be made in good faith. 

Mike Breeden looks like a professional dog walker, and his style is that of a million other fighters. Nothing really stands out about him. He’s an output fighter who tends to shoeshine his combinations instead of committing to each strike. Go get your shine box. The key for Breeden against the Toyota Frontrunner Terrance McKinney will be to survive and advance. This fight will go one of two ways: McKinney will take down Breeden and choke him out in the opening round, or Breeden will survive the opening stanza and slowly work his way back into the fight and steal it late.  

I don’t have any odds, but I’d suspect McKinney will be the favorite, and Breeden can prove to be a valuable dog and Fantasy flipper. His chances of winning the fight will skyrocket if he can get out of the first round. In his last four fights, McKinney is 1-3, and all three L’s were finishes. When McKinney goes out, he Dies Hard like Bruce Willis. It’s first-round sub or bust for McKinney, and Breeden will have the luxury of having a full fifteen-minute window to work with compared to McKinney’s five-minute window. A McKinney TKO will return (+140), and a sub (+165). Eight of Breeden's ten career wins came via TKO/KO, and a win in that manner will return (+350). Terrance "& Phillip" McKinney via rear-naked choke, round one. Wax on, wax off. 

Winner: Terrance McKinney | Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.1

Josh Parisian (+180) vs. Martin Buday (-220)

Parisian: DK: $7.4k | Buday: DK:$8.8k

Somehow, some way, Bad-Ass Bert Kreischer is back. And so is Martin Buday after he was charged with possession of stolen property after the infamous Valero Three robbed Jake Collier in the men’s room handicap stall after his last bout. This one will be a sprint to a first-round/early second-round finish. And by sprint, I mean more like an inebriated pub crawl. They’re not going the distance; they’re not going for speed.  

Everyone had a friend who had a dad who looked like Josh Parisian. This guy looks the exact opposite of a fighter. He has a Wilson from Home Improvement temperament, a Flanders temperament. Since entering the UFC, Parisian has gone 2-3 and alternated losses and wins. He lost his last fight, so the pattern would suggest he is primed for a big victory. On the feet, Parisian is a county fair scrapper who landed more illegal blows than significant strikes his last time out against Jamal Pogues. That fight featured more crack than the 80s, as Parisian had half his ass hanging out his fight shorts for the entire third round. Against Buday, Parisian’s pants falling off before the final bell will return (+260), that magical range where Jacksons turn into Grants right before your eyes.  

On the feet, Parisian is a knock-off Ben Rothwell with the world’s slowest spinning attacks tucked into his back pocket; he gets lost and wanders off stage halfway through his spin. Bert averages four and a half SLpM to Buday’s nearly five and a half. Parisian’s path to totality will be dragging Buday to the mat and extending combinations on the feet. Although Buday averages more strikes per minute, a lot of that comes in the clinch; he is fairly moderate at distance on the feet. 

Martin Buday earned his golden ticket to the UFC by way of the Contender Series. That fight was an ode to Randy Couture. Buday bodily pushed his opponent up against the fence, held him there against his will, and punished him with dirty, make that filthy boxing. It looked like an old-school 80s police shakedown; I think a lawsuit is still forthcoming. Stand-up-wise, Buday kinda, if you screw your face just enough, looks like a cross between vending machine versions of Cain Valasquez and Ben Rothwell. They both have that big galoot, stalking Ben Rothwell air about them. This dude has the slowest, heaviest punches I’ve seen. It’s like he’s swinging a mace with a giant anvil on the end. Buday is a pocket striker and struggles at distance. He has to be in the pocket at all times; he camps in the pocket like Evan Tanner; he ain’t ever coming out. Buday should have a big advantage in the clinch, racking up significant strikes and creating damage.  

Fantasy-wise, the bigger finisher may be Parisian; he is 15-6 for his career with eleven TKO/KOs and two subs. And Buday is 12-1 with eight TKO/KOs and one sub. This is a sneaky Fantasy fight because it should stay on the feet and could provide two fighters reaching moderate to high striking stats. Buday was two strikes away from the one-hundred mark in his last bout, and Parisian is also capable of hitting the mark. Buday will be the (-220) favorite, and Parisian will be the (+180) live dog. Buday has an obvious power advantage, but Parisian is scrappy and has a better gas tank. This one will come down to an artist rendering finish. Martin Buday via decision. On Wax. 

Winner: Martin Buday | Method: Decision

Prelims

$7k Value Menu

A.J. Dobson ($7.8k): This guy has been a bit of a disappointment in two UFC bouts. But to his credit, he has faced stiff competition. Dobson is a highly touted striker who vaguely reminds me of Uriah Hall without the nasty spinning kicks. Hall was like the Yair Rodriguez of the higher-weight classes. The major malfunction contributing to Dobson’s 0-2 start is a lack of output. On the rare occasions when he throws a combination, you can see he has serious skills. Skill-for-skill, I think Dobson is a better striker than his opponent Tafon Nchukwi. Tafon Nchukwi is an anomaly; it breaks your mind seeing a guy built like him be so damn slow. His special move is the grunt feint. No shittin’. He tennis grunts with every strike and then fake grunts as a feint to make you think he is throwing when he isn't. Tafon is also riding a two-fight losing streak and lost three of his last four. Dobson will be in this fight until the end, and since Tafon doesn’t pose a wrestling threat, he should feel more comfortable letting his hands go. 

Isaac Dulgarian ($7.7k): This guy is a wild card. Dulgarian is 5-0 in his career and making his debut. He is the prototypical wrestler striker with an explosive right hand and excellent wrestling/grappling. When it comes to finishing a fight, this guy has a 100% Money Back Guarantee. He finished all five pro wins, including three TKO/KOs and two subs. Dulgarian’s opponent will be Francis Marshall “Mathers,” and I think Marshall is a little overrated. He’s 1-1 in the UFC with a dub on the Contender Series, but I see an amateur when I see him strike. I see stiffness and a reliance on over-aggression to make up for a lack of technique. Marshall also has a solid wrestling/grappling game, but I think he’ll have to rely on his stand-up more in this fight. The big unknown for Dulgarian is how will he look under the bright lights against UFC competition? But just from the eye test and what I’ve seen so far, Dulgarian might be the better fighter. Might be. 

Cub Swanson ($7.2k): Cue the Scott Storch piano. Still C.U.B. This guy is a triple OG with so many stripes he looks like a convict and not the four-star general he is. Cub is a Biggie-on-the-corner freestyler, a flow fighter who fights off the cuff. He will bring chaos to Hakeem Dawodu’s otherwise harmonious world. Dawodu thrives in a controlled environment, engaging in mutually agreed-upon rules of engagement. Dawodu will be like the British lined up in perfect formation, and Swanson will be Mel Gibson hiding in the forest with a hatchet on some gorilla warfare type-ish. Cub will let his hands and feets go while switch-steppin' and hitting angles like switches in a lo-lo. This fight is almost guaranteed to stay standing for the duration, and Cub can strike for volume and poses a serious finishing threat. 

$6k Consume Within 24 hours Clearance Rack 

Jamie Pickett ($6.8k): If you find yourself digging in the clearance crates, inspecting for mold, you only have two options this week: Jamie Pickett and J.P. Buys. Both fighters have tough matchups, but I have a little more faith in Jaime Pickett “Fence.” Pickett is riding a three-fight losing streak like a suspect Carnival ride with sparks flying out of it. He’s facing Josh Fremd, who has decent striking and excellent grappling, and I suspect Fremd will look to relocate the fight to the mat. If the fight stays standing, Pickett will have a chance. Fantasy-wise, he can’t do worse than the one strike he landed against Bo Nickal in his last bout, and this time around, he’ll have the added motivation of knowing this might be his last rodeo if he loses. Pickett is 2-5 in the UFC and was finished four times. I know, this is the worst case to make for someone, but this is reality when you’re livin’ on the clearance rack.  

Twenty-Twen-Twen Sleepers

Isaac Dulgarian (+140): It’s a Motley Crue of dogs this week. I may be playing more finishes than straight-up dogs. But Dulgarian looks like a good athlete with a well-rounded game for a guy making his debut after just five pro-fights. The key for Dulgarian against Francis Marshall will be aggression. Marshall needs to be the hammer and won’t survive being the nail. Mix in some takedowns and make Marshall work every minute of the fight. This one will be a chocolate starfish clincher, an FX Nip/Tuck close scrap with split-decision written all over it like random numbers offering discreet services written all over a rest-stop bathroom stall. 

Cub Swanson (+185): I’ve said all there is to say about this guy. He’ll be at a technical and speed disadvantage on the feet, but he can make up for it with creativity and, overall, a much more diverse style with unorthodox attacks. 

Mike Breeden (+220): This one will be like walking a tightrope across skyscrapers without one of those long-ass poles to help you balance. The first round will be helter-skelter, with danger lurking around every second. But once the clock hits 5:01, Breeden will have a good chance to start clawing his way back into the fight. Terrance McKinney is flat earther’s Exhibit A because he falls off the face of it after every first round. If you gamble on Breeden, bet a finish; eight of Breeden’s ten career dubs are TKO/KOs, and ALL of McKinney’s six career L’s were finishes.  

Pick 'Em

A.J. Dobson (+120) vs. Tafon Nchukwi (-150)  

Winner: A.J. Dobson 

Method: Decision 

Josh Fremd (-325) vs. Jamie Pickett (+255) 

Winner: Josh Fremd 

Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.2 

J.P. Buys (+290) vs. Marcus McGhee (-375) 

Winner: Marcus McGhee 

Method: TKO Rd.3 

Francis Marshall (-165) vs. Isaac Dulgarian (+135)  

Winner: Isaac Dulgarian 

Method: Decision 

Jaqueline Amorim (-250) vs. Montserrat Ruiz (+200) 

Winner: Jaqueline Amorim 

Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.1 

Da’mon Blackshear (-180) vs. Jose Johnson (+155) 

Winner: Da’mon Blackshear 

Method: Decision 

Juliana Miller (+130) vs. Luana Santos (-155) 

Winner: Luana Santos 

Method: Decision 

Thanks for reading LineStar Weekly Knockout! We'll be back next Thursday with another one. Until then, good luck and support your local MMA Gym.

About Me

My name is Chris Guy, and I’m an avid combat sports enthusiast and practitioner. I’ve been a fan of MMA since the early 2000s when Limewire was still around, and I downloaded Bas Rutten’s Big Book of Combat. In 2004, I started training Muay Thai at City Boxing in San Diego, CA. I competed as an amateur for many years, and I've also dabbled in Jiu-Jitsu. I follow many different disciplines, such as Combat Ji-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Glory Kickboxing, Boxing, and MMA.

I’m equally as enthusiastic about the craft of writing, and in addition to writing about combat sports, I also write short fiction and music. I hope to bring unique prose to sports writing, and along the way, encourage people to not only become Martial Arts fans but to also become Martial Artists themselves.

In the future, you may see me refer to the Thunderdome; it's an ode to the old Mad Max movie and refers to the world-class training facility I built in my one-car garage. It's complete with throw dummies, wrestling mats, heavy bags, and six months' worth of Chef Boyardee cans from when I thought the world was going to end back in March. I hope you enjoy my work, and if you don’t, the Thunderdome has an open door policy. Fight