Written by LineStar contributor, combat sports enthusiast, and practitioner, Chris Guy. Instagram: @therealsethgeko | Twitter: @DadHallOfFamer

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Main Card 

Rose (-215) vs. Tracy Cortez (+175)

Rose: DK: $9k | Cortez: DK:$7.2k

Welcome to the Gyaaat! Bowl brought to you by Lululemon. Concerned citizens are reporting shortages, bare shelves of epidermis moisturizing creams (lotions if you want to be a Richard about it) at Rite Aid, CVS, Target, Walmart, Fred Myers, and the like nationwide. Even Amazon has back orders for every type of Jergens, Nivea, Dove, and even the OG, Vaseline. As panic spreads, the “experts” are baffled by the sudden run on our nation’s lotion reserves. But those in the MMA community are less baffled and point to the beginning of the shortages coinciding with the announcement of Tracy Cortez stepping in on short notice to replace Maycee Barber in the main event alongside the People’s Queen, Rose Namajunas. 

It also coincides with the MMA Kelly Kapowski’s recent breakup with Zack Morris, aka Brian Ortega. Yes, you can put away your Brian Ortega voodoo dolls and the leftover month-old Chalupa supreme you were feeding it - the one that gave Ortega the bubble guts and forced him to drop a co-main event slot against Diego Lopes two weeks ago. You Ray Finkle-ass muhf**kers! “Laces out! Laces out!” My man has been evoking Squatters’ Rights inside MMA fans’ minds like when the Carnies, aka the Cooters stole the Simpsons' house. Homie crossed out the name on the mailbox and has been shitting in their toilet and leaving floaters, changing their thermostat, using their toothbrush, and sitting on their couch in nothing but Fruit of the Loom off-white chonies, “You better not be in my ass groove!”  

They say it's a man’s world, and the manifestation of this main event would provide further proof of such a claim. They also say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. With a mean surface temperature of 867 degrees Fahrenheit, it would explain why women can endure more pain and, hence, why childbirth was a burden placed upon their shoulders. “Don't fly too close to the sun” is an inconsequential moral for the descendants of the inhabitants of the planet second from the sun. (I know you got some kitchen jokes on the tip of your tongues, you funkin’ heathens.) These two ladies could survive on Mercury without burns, first, second, or third-degree. I say it often but not nearly enough: As a Girl Dad, of my many ambitions for my daughter, one is being able to defend herself with the prowess of these two ladies.   

Tracy Cortez is a wrestler first and a striker a distant second. Her strikes are more like love taps. Don’t threaten me with a good time strikes. Her boxing repertoire consists of 1-2-3s set on repeat with occasional lazy leg kicks. I’m talking don’t do shit all day, lazy-ass leg kicks. Sleep ‘till noon-ass leg kicks. Her most glaring vulnerability on the feet is counters when she throws them. And she doesn’t move her head a degree off the centerline when she throws hands. She’s got that People’s Court neck brace head movement. But she commits to combinations and averages over four SLpM to Rose’s just over three and a half. Cortez isn’t a TLC scrub on the feet, but she’s very limited. Her herb and Zig Zag is volume to create level change opportunities so she can ride out rounds with top control.   

If looks could kill—No, fook that. If looks could TKO/KO, Tracy Cortez would have more than Derrick Lewis. If looks could submit, she’d be Charles Oliveira. The biggest knock against Cortez is her lack of finishes. She’s 11-1 for her career with one TKO/KO and one sub. In twelve career fights, she has yet to hit plurals in either category. Her weigh-ins have more finishes than her. Mission Impossible: Wrestle for five rounds. That’s the mission should Tracy Cortez choose to accept it. She takes the scenic route to victory every time she steps into the cage. She averages just under two and a half takedowns per fifteen minutes, but as she climbs the ranks, that number will decrease. Somebody needs to teach her some chokes. Not the kind with a safety word, homie. 

“I ain’t your homie, hater!” 

Rose is back. She has reached one-name status. She is legend. With two dubs over the past strawweight GOAT and two over the current, Rose has already joined the pantheon of greatest women’s fighters ever-ever. If she can capture the flyweight belt, maybe she’ll celebrate by finally getting “Thug Life” tatted across the belly. Thugs N’ Roses. She’s continuing her 2024 Main Event Tour. Welcome to the jungle, but there ain’t no fun and games. This game ain’t sweet any more than shit is. Rose is no Sweet Child O’ Mine, but any father would be proud of a daughter who can throw hands like her. She’ll have you knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door like a Jehovah's Witness, like the police at a Diddy raid, if you run into her walking the streets of Gotham City and feel the urge to fook around. Hard times make strong women, and so does growing up outside the city limits of Paradise City, where the grass ain’t green and the doobies ain’t pretty.  

After ten years in the UFC, Rose still has the well-rounded technical skills and physical attributes to win the belt. The only question is, is she still hungry – does she still have an Appetite For Destruction? Or did swallowing her pride after losing her belt to an inferior fighter blunt it? Because if there’s any of the old Rose fighting for a meal ticket left in her, she should stomp Tracy Cortez like a pair of Nike Cortez. In Rose’s prime, this isn’t a fight. Rose has the footwork that few in the women’s classes have and hands that are tight like nuts and bolts. I can argue that Rose is undefeated, and the only fighter ever to beat Rose is Rose. If she believes in her wrestling/grappling, she will not only dominate this fight, but she can also fook around and win a belt in a second weight class.   

Rose is 13-6 with two TKO/KOs and six submissions, and she’s coming in off a main event dub against Amanda Ribas back in March. Previously, Rose dropped two in a row to Carla Esparza (the worst fight of all time) and Manon Fiorot. Although Rose only rocks a fifty-noine percent takedown defense, I don’t see Cortez getting her to the mat and keeping her there consistently for twenty-five minutes. This fight will be decided on the feet, and Rose is the far superior striker, having been in four scraps against two of the best women’s strikers ever, Joanna Jedrzejczyk and Zhang Weili. Rose is the (-220) favorite, and Cortez is the (+170) Westminster Best in Class dog. Fantasy-wise, I’ll say this about Cortez: She landed a career-high one hundred-three strikes in her last bout against Jasmine Jasudavicius - a fight that stayed on the feet for the majority. Cortez won’t shy from letting her hands go, even if she’s getting pieced up.   

We’re streaking! The head kick got the credit, but, once again, Pereira’s left hand, aka God’s Gavel, set the table with placemats and Grammy’s antique gold-plated silverware for Jiri’s downfall. That’s two in a row for the main event winning streak, and this one seems so obvious that it makes me nervous. Tracy Cortez struggled against mediocre competition in her last bout, and I’m not sure she’s well-rounded enough to take a huge leap up as she will against Rose. Give me the thug from a, thug from a, thug from around the way. Give me some of that Thug’s Passion. Give me Thug Rose via rear-naked choke, round four. Put it on wax. 

Props 

Rose: TKO/KO (+350) Sub (+800) Dec (+110)  

Cortez: TKO/KO (+2000) Sub (+1400) Dec (+240) 

Winner: Thug Rose | Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.4

Santiago Ponzinibio (-185) vs. Muslim Salikhov (+155)

The Ponz: DK: $8.8k | Panda: DK: $7.4k

The Ponz is back, and he’s still wearing his patented pleather jacket even as he rides a pair of water skis over foaming wakes toward a ramp that will send him soaring into the air and over a shark swimming in a contained barrier. But even though he has lost three of his last four fights, he hasn’t jumped the shark yet. There haven’t been many Happy Days for The Ponz in recent years, save for the time he KO’d Alex Morono just to remind us that he still has Acme dynamite in his hands. After giving up two rounds to Morono, The Ponz landed a bomb that had Morono looking like he just finished a presidential debate and couldn’t find his way off the stage. Morono went full Mitch McConnell. Never go full Mitch McConnell. He had Morono looking like he was searching for his car keys under the couch cushions – looking like Grammy trying to find her seat after communion. But The Ponz had little time to savor the taste of victory. In his most recent fight, Kevin Holland turned him into Ice Spice in the third round. The Ponz ate a right hand and immediately thought it was Amateur Night: Make you holla for a dolla.    

But that was over a year ago and would constitute as being “old shit.” On with the new shit. Santiago Ponzinibio is still Jax from Mortal Kombat with two bionic arms that can tear you limb from limb. The Ponz is a master of the midrange. He won’t light you up from behind the arc or body you down low, but he’ll pull up from the free throw line extended and drop silky smooth jumpers on you all night. And it don’t stop. You can beat The Ponz if you can keep him at range at the end of punches, and you can beat him if you can get inside and force him to exchange in the pocket. But if you let him split the difference and hang out in the mid-range, he will dismantle you like a junkyard jalopy. The biggest knock against The Ponz is that he’s a slow starter. He lost close fights to Michel Pereira and Geoff Neal, two fights in which he could have received the judges’s nod. But you have to start this mf in your driveway thirty minutes before you leave to defrost the windows. By the time he gets going, he’s a round behind on the scorecards. 

But when The Ponz commits, he commits like 90-Day Fiancée, proposing in the subject line of the first email he sends. The Ponz traps you against the cage with menacing pressure and unloads wide hooks that obliterate hand guards. If the Ponz touches you with his hands, it's a significant strike, even if you manage to block it. The Ponz will be the higher output striker against Muslim Salilkhov, averaging nearly five SLpM to Salikhov’s just below three and a half. The key for The Ponz will be using pressure to eliminate space, as Salikhov is a master at spinning shit. If The Ponz can stay inside Salikhov’s spinning attacks, his boxing will be superior. The Ponz is 29-7 with sixteen TKO/KOs and six subs. 

The last time we saw the Kung Fu Panda, he left the cage with panda eyes. Randy Brown turned my man into a conspiracy theory. You’ll get booted off social media just for mentioning the ass whoopin’ Salikhov took in his most recent bout. But Kung Fu Panda is still rocking the peninsula fade, the one they’ve been saying would be underwater by 2020 since he was in high school. And you never want to fook with Russians rocking a peninsula fade. Chalk that up as WKO words of wisdom. Salikhov is a unique striker. He’s like a run-first QB who you have to build an entire offense around. Salikhov’s offense is at its best when built around his spinning attacks. If he ain’t spinning, he ain’t winning. This guy spins like a dog chasing its tail. Spinning wheel kicks, back kicks, and back fists are Salikhov’s best weapons. And when he can make you hesitate for fear of looking like Terry Etim when he got KO’d by Edson Barbosa, he opens up with short, heavy punches. Salikhov’s style is an amalgamation of Taekwondo and boxing, and he’s at his best when he can dictate the range with his long-spinning attacks. 

Salikhov is 19-5 with thirteen TKO/KOs and two subs and is coming in off back-to-back losses and three of his last four. Two of those three losses were vicious KOs to the mansion gargoyle Li Jingliang and Randy Brown. The bigger finishing threat will be The Ponz. At best, Salikhov’s Fantasy value will be in moderate strikes landed. His career high for strikes landed is sixty-three in a fight that went the distance. Also, Salikhov only has one finish in his last seven fights. 

The Ponz will be the (-220) favorite, and Panda Eyes will be the (+165) mangy-ass dog. Salikhov is a solid fighter, but he lacks output and aggression. He can win this fight, but he’ll have to fight unlike himself and try to match the Ponz strike for strike, or he will fall behind on the scorecards. Although The Ponz is a finishing threat, I think the play for each guy is a decision. I’m not sure if Salikhov’s spinning style will allow The Ponz to throw with the volume he is accustomed to, and he could turn into a bust if he can’t land a fight-ending bomb. Santiago Ponzinibio via decision. On wax.   

Props 

The Ponz: TKO/KO (+165) Sub (+1400) Dec (+200)  

Salikhov: TKO/KO (+400) Sub (+2000) Dec (+450) 

Winner: Santiago Ponzinibio | Method: Decision

Drew Dober (-110) vs. Jean Silva (-110)

Dober: DK: $8.2k | Silva: DK:$8k

This is a fookin’ banger. Jean Silva just fought on the last card, and the ass whoopin’ he delivered to Charles Jourdain still has that new car smell. The green “Result” on his Sherdog page hasn’t even dried yet. Jean Silva is a member of the Fighting Nerds, which Ciao Borralho is also a member of. The Fighting Nerds represent a scary evolution of dweebs and dorks alike who are reversing the food chain. Nature is beginning to balance itself out. Everyone is a nerd for something, and Jean Silva is a nerd for kicking ass. He attends Ass Kicking Con every year with one of those dorky little VIP lanyards around his neck as he waits in line to meet his favorite ass-kickers. I slept on Silva two weeks ago when I picked Charles Jourdain to beat him, but that was because I hadn’t seen much of Silva; I didn’t know how good he was. I won’t be making that mistake this week as he steps in on short notice on back-to-back cards to face the Rain Man, Drew Dober.   

Jean Silva isn’t your typical Brazilian striker with the squared stance, round shoulders, and aggression only rivaled by U.S. foreign policy. This guy sits back in the cut like whut! in a bladed Karate-like stance and calculates. He has equations written on his forearms like he’s taking an Algebra test. Silva studies you and then starts testing his hypothesis with probing in/out feints and prodding jabs. Then, he analyses the opponent’s reactions and starts making predictions, anticipating your attacks and countering with slick step-back counters. Silva is good at giving up ground but remaining in the pocket using back pivots and synchronized check hooks. After he has touched you up for a round or two, he publishes his conclusions with a nasty slip & rip TKO. No peer review is needed; you can’t argue with thirteen career dubs with twelve finishes. The ass-whoopin’ he just gave Charles Jourdain will be used as a case study to indoctrinate the next generation of Fighting Nerds.   

Ten of Silva’s thirteen career dubs are TKO/KOs, and two are by sub. And he averages over five and a half SLpM. He will leap up in competition when he steps into the cage against the super veteran Drew Dober. I would give Dober the one-punch power advantage, but Silva is the more versatile/diverse striker. The key for Silva (and every Drew Dober opponent) is staying off the fookin’ cage. My man King (Official name) Green didn’t listen to me when I told him not to get trapped against the cage, and Drew Dober slept Bobby with a left hand after Bobby pieced Dober up for almost two rounds. Keep the fight in the center of the Octagon and make Dober close the distance with strikes.   

Yo! Hit that NWA “Chin Check!” Cube, Dre, and MC Ren couldn’t Chin Check Drew Dober. Drew Dober’s chin could withstand reentry. Michelangelo carved Drew Dober’s jawline. Dober’s jawline is sharper than hindsight 20/20 vision. They hung his chin’s jersey in the rafters of his high school gymnasium. His chin was Prom King. Like J.P. Prewett is the world’s greatest hand model, Dober is the world’s greatest chin model and walks around with it encased in glass.  

“Wait a minute! I know that chin. It was in the fall 1973 Bulova watch catalog. You’re Drew Dober!” 

Drew Dober’s chin does meet-and-greets. But there’s one thing he depends on more than his striking jawline, his left hand. Dober is a classic Gus Fring striker who depends on his left hand like the first and fifteenth. All he has in this life of sin is him and his left hand. Look for him lost in the whirlwind when he starts making heads spin on shoulders. Dober cracks like every street, road, highway, and byway in California. He cracks like windshields. His M.O. is setting traps like Kevin McCallister against the cage and erasing you with his left hand. Dober’s style is nimble and quick because he stays on his toes like Wee Man at a urinal. He stays en pointe like a ballet dancer, but gangsters don’t pirouette; they boogie. Dr. Dew Dober uses in/out movement and his left hand to close the distance quickly and get out. Stick and move. In many ways, Dober and Silva have nearly identical styles. There’s a little Karate and traditional kickboxing in their styles, and they both rely on in/out movement to attack and to avoid strikes.   

Dober is 27-13 for his career with fourteen TKO/KOs and six subs and is coming in off a decision loss to “Money” Moicano. Dober had Moicano in all sorts of trouble on the feet but let him off the hook because he couldn’t keep the fight standing. He won’t have to worry about being taken down against Jeann Silva. This will be a guaranteed stand-up war and should be the co-main event. Check it: Dober’s last seven dubs came via TKO/KO. That said, I think Silva is a slightly better finishing threat, and I like playing Dober for a decision. Silva has yet to be finished in fifteen career fights. This one is pretty much a Vegas pick ‘em. Silva is the slight (-115) favorite, and Dober is the negative money live-ass dog returning (-105). Man, this one is tough to pick. But that Jourdain ass-whoopin' was impressive and still brand new. Jean Silva via decision. Put it on wax.   

 Props 

Dober: TKO/KO (+175) Sub (+1600) Dec (+450)  

Silva: TKO/KO (+185) Sub (+700) Dec (+600) 

Winner: Jean Silva | Method: Decision

Gabriel Bonfim (-325) vs. Ange Loosa (+260)

Bonfim: DK: $9.3k | Loosa: DK: $6.9k

One-half of the Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger Twins is back. Gabriel Bonfim is a Lambo with a John Deere engine under the hood. This mf is the Cyber Truck of the UFC – he looks dope but not really at the same time. But he has some cool features. That mf will also lock you inside and automatically drive into a lake. But hey, it looks expensive as shit (which isn’t expensive), and I’m sure some Kanye West ladies dig it. Bonfim got exposed like Black’s Beach in San Diego in his last bout. He got remastered into Dalby Digital by Nicolas Dalby (who got robbed against Rinat Fakhretdinov two weeks ago) his last time out. Bonfim got out to his standard fast start, throwing bombs and Dalby all over the cage in the opening round. But then he started feeling himself like the Macarena, and his pace wrote checks his seven-minute cardio couldn’t cash. He hit the wall like Sonny Bono hitting trees, and I ain’t talking that sticky icky. Ooh wee! Bonfim huffed and puffed and passed out on the lawn.   

The big question is, is Bonfim a sheep scalping wolf tickets, or is he as good as advertised and had an adrenaline dump against Dalby? Because this guy will beat you like King Kong’s chest for five minutes. He’s a straight-ass-kicker like he won the golden boot of the match. Bonfim has long arms and heavy, whipping punches. He won’t sit on the outside, work behind a jab, and box you, but he’ll put together three to four wide hooks and overhands and let the chips fall where they may. But fook the striking. Bonfim is like a mermaid on the mat. This guy swims on the mat. He rides you like Magic Mike from the top position, grinding on you and making shit awkward and uncomfortable until, in your desperation to escape, you make a mistake, and he snatches your neck like a Bad Boy chain. This guy bends you like coat hangers while dropping ferocious ground and pound. 

Until he gasses. I bet the Thunderdome on Nicolas Dalby that night because I had an inkling that Bonfim would gas if he didn’t get Dalby out of there in the first round. That will also be the case when Bonfim fights Ange Loosa. The play for Bonfim is an early finish, likely a submission. Bonfim is 15-1 with two TKO/KOs and twelve subs. This is another great fight to live bet if you can. Bonfim will likely fade at the halfway point, especially if it goes into the third round. Bonfim averages nearly five SLpM, but three of his four measurable fights ended in the first round.   

Loosa Brasi is back. He looks like Beetle Juice and Shannon Sharpe crossed streams at a Diddy mixer. I mean, paths. He looks like Blanka from Street Fighter, turning into a little buzzsaw when he blitzes. This guy is an under-the-radar enforcer, an unsung blue-collar mob worker. You can order the beef cooked medium/well but raw he’s gonna give it to ya. Raw like cocaine from Bolivia. Loosa looks rough like Timberland Wear and straight off the cover of a Mobb Deep album. He looks straight out of a Ruff Ryders music video. Homie is going to pull up to the Octagon, poppin’ a wheelie on a crotch rocket. Loosa Brasi is a human Timberland boot. Dude just exudes toughness and griminess.  

Ange Loosa kind of reminds me of a smaller Joaquim Buckley. He’s short with long arms, and he's crafty at getting inside like cat burglars. Breaking & Entering, Loosa forces his way inside behind heavy combinations. He rolls into his hooks, loading up without telegraphing it, and leaps into the pocket. The knock against Loosa is that he has that classic NES boss predictable pattern on the feet. After losing a life or two, you figure him out. Loosa uses a lot of repetitive left/right combinations and has no real kicking game to mix things up. But he’s tough like Avirex leather and will hang around until Bonfim gasses out if he can withstand the early storm. Loosa is 10-3 for his career with five TKO/KOs and one sub, and averages over six SLpM with a high of one hundred twenty-noine. His volume will break Bonfim over fifteen minutes if he can slow play it.   

Bonfim is the (-400) heavy favorite, and Loosa is the (+300) live dog. Survive and advance. That’s the game plan for Loosa. Once the clock strikes seven minutes, Bonfim’s fight shorts will turn into Daisy Dukes, and he will be assed-out. It’s difficult betting for/against fighters who fight with time restraints like Gabriel Bonfim. There’s a ton of value for Loosa as a low-tier long-shot. If/when the takedown well runs dry on Bonfim, Loosa’s volume could allow him to put up some respectable striking stats. And Loosa has never been finished. Best believe I’ll have a Hamilton with Loosa’s name on it come Saturday night, but I’m going to trust Bonfim to correct his pace. Gabriel Bonfim via rear-naked choke, round two – six minutes and fifty noine seconds. On wax.   

Props 

Bonfiim: TKO/KO (+400) Sub (+120) Dec (+275)   

Loosa: TKO/KO (+900) Sub (+2000) Dec (+500) 

Winner: Gabriel Bonfim | Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.2

Julian Erosa (+175) vs. Christian Rodriguez (-215)

Erosa: DK: $8.2k | C-Rod: DK:$8k

Julian Erosa is the Harvey Dent of the UFC. He flips a coin in the cage to decide if he should win or not. He pulls rose petals, “Sub him or sub him not. TKO him or TKO him not.” When you bet against Erosa, best believe he’s going to win. When you drop an Andy Jack on him, best believe he will get KO’d with the quickness. Betting on Erosa is like ordering fajitas, and they don’t sizzle and draw the attention of every mf in the joint, jaws on the floor like you ordered the poisonous puffer fish, and the homie across the room doesn’t make eye contact, hike up a thumb and yell, “F**k yeah, buddy!” 

“Thanks! But I ain’t your buddy, pal!” 

But when you don’t bet on him, he reminds you why he has more finishes than the missing hand towel Mom keeps asking about. Erosa has twenty-noine career dubs, and twenty-four came via finish, including eleven TKO/KOs and thirteen subs. And of his eleven career L’s, seven came via TKO/KO. If he can’t finish you, he commits Seppuku and finishes himself. Julian Erosa is all offense everything and no defense anything. He’s defensaphobic. He’s a devout defense atheist and was excommunicated from the Chuch of Defense, where Sean Strickland is the Archbishop. He returned his defense for store credit and spent it on more offense. Fists, elbows, knees, chins, they’re all coming at you, and sometimes, all at the same time. Damage and volume and more chokes than the Salem gallows; that’s Julian Erosa’s style.   

Against Christian Rodriguez, Erosa will be the higher output striker, averaging over six SLpM to Rodriguez’s three and a half. The only play for Erosa is a finish, and as a middle/low-tier Fantasy option, Erosa will have a massive upside. Rodriguez has yet to be finished in his twelve-fight career, but IDK if he’s fought someone as unpredictable and dangerous as Julian Erosa. 

They call Christian Rodriguez C-Rod because he’s average. They can call him 70%-Rod. Pass/Fail-Rod. Rodriguez only rocks red because the Bloods call him B-Rod. After losing his debut to Jonathan Pearce, C-Rod has won four straight. Yeah, he needs some WD-40 because he’s been squeaking by, but dubs are dubs, and we never demand apologies for those. Overall, C-Rod rocks that Avridge Eau de Toilette by JAG and looks like a held-back in first, second, and third grade Anthony Pettis (his training partner). C-Rod's style is like back-to-school clothes, no holes. But he isn’t particularly dangerous anywhere. His major malfunction is that he starts every fight like B-Rabbit, “Fook it! I don’t want to win. I’m outie.” He completely turns his back on the dub in the first round and usually has to mount second and third-round comebacks. And lately, his margin of error has been growing smaller. 

C-Rod has excellent grappling, but Erosa is more dangerous on the mat. If I were C-Rod, I’d take my chances on the feet. Erosa is as hittable as a fighter can get and often gets completely out of pocket, leaving himself vulnerable to counters. C-Rod has some slick Pettis-like spinning shit and kicks in his arsenal, and he will be the more technical striker. He has to avoid getting dragged into a firefight on the feet. C-Rod is 11-1 with three TKO/KOs and four subs, and he won his last three fights by decision.   

Oh shit! I had this one all wrong. I thought Erosa would be a slight favorite, but C-Rod is the (-210) favorite, and Erosa is the (+170) live-ass dog. I don’t check the odds until the picks are in, homies. “We ain’t your—" 

I know, I know. I never pick Julian Erosa's fights correctly. He is coming off a submission dub over Ricardo Ramos, but he was TKO’d in his previous two fights. I don’t know if C-Rod can finish Erosa, but he can implement a technical game plan and control the fight with controlled engagements. But Erosa is in a classic Erosa position to flip the board with a patented unexpected dub. I want to take a chance on Erosa, but you pick to win the fight. C-Rod has made me some Andy Jacks in his last three fights. I’ve been riding him to victory like Diddy riding... Never mind. Christian Rodriguez via decision. Wax on, wax off.   

Props 

C-Rod: TKO/KO (+250) Sub (+650) Dec (+150)   

Erosa: TKO/KO (+1100) Sub (+800) Dec (+350) 

Winner: Christian Rodriguez | Method: Decision

Prelims

$7k Value Menu

Cody Brundage ($7.7k): Cody Brundage travels along the Julian Erosa spectrum. You never know which side of the bed he woke up on, the winning side or the losing side. Brundage could fook around and beat Abdul Alhassan by exploiting Alhassan’s fifty percent takedown defense and dominating the top position until he finds a choke or stops the fight with classic ground and pound. Brundage could also come out, shoot a double leg, get stuffed, then roll over and call it a night. Brundage almost always has a card-flipping upside, but if the L-7 Weenie version of Brundage shows up, you’ll be left Fantasy point famished. That being said, as a dog against Alhasssan, who is just as schitzo as Brundage, Brundage has a ton of value. If he’s smart, Brundage will make this a wrestler vs. striker matchup and stay committed to taking down Alhassan. Brundage is a wild card on the feet, but he’ll have a clear advantage on the mat. The play for Brundage is a finish; he’s 4-4 in the UFC, and all his wins (except a win by DQ) came via TKO/KO, including impressive dubs against Tresean Gore and Zach Reese.   

Julian Erosa ($7.3k): This week’s Value Menu features almost exclusively all-or-nothing roster options. This mf Julian Erosa goes full frontal when he scraps. He lets it all hang out. His fights come with a Parental Advisory sticker. His fights are NC-17 - you have to sneak into the theater to watch them. You need a note signed by your parents to watch his fights, even if you're a grown-ass man/woman. If he wakes up feeling dangerous like Baker Mayfield, he will have a good chance of being the first fighter to finish Christian Rodriguez. Erosa has more career finishes than Antonio Cromartie, with eleven TKO/KOs and thirteen submissions in twenty-noine dubs. On the mat, Erosa is handy with head-and-arm chokes (arm triangles, D’arce/Anacandas, and guillotines), and on the feet, he’s a Chito Vera damage over everything else, using all eight limbs to inflict damage. He has to make this fight a clusterf**k and make Rodriguez fight outside of his comfort zone.   

Charles Johnson (7.5k): CJ will be at a massive power disadvantage when he steps in against Jashua Van. But CJ is a crafty striker who is in nothing but close, competitive fights. In his last three bouts, CJ has landed around seventy significant strikes and averages four and a half SLpM. CJ spends significant stretches of fights defending takedowns, which hinders his output on the feet. He won’t have to worry about being taken down against Joshua Van. This will be a stand-up banger from beginning to end, and Charles Johnson is a more consistent Fantasy scorer than other options, provided he can avoid Van’s massive power. Johnson is 15-6 in his career and has faced stiff competition in the UFC, and has yet to be finished in his career. CJ represents a more reliable scoring option, even if he loses the fight.  

 $6k Bathroom Clearance Rack 

Ange Loosa ($6.9k): There’s only one option on the clearance rack this week, and he’s a day away from sprouting mold – consume within twenty-four hours. But Ange Loosa could be a better option than much of the Value Menu. If Gabriel Bonfim can’t finish Loosa early, Loosa will take over late with volume and a far superior gas tank. Bonfim is a dragster pushing three hundred forty mph down a straight track. He’s built for a short sprint and not a marathon. This fight will be similar to Bonfim’s last scrap against Nicolas Dalby, who weathered the first-round category-five storm and went on to TKO Bonfim in the second. Although Dalby is a better fighter than Loosa, Loosa is a tough mother-shut-your-mouf and once went the distance against Jack Della Maddalena on the Contender Series. He’ll have to make up for time spent on his back early, but he averages over six SLpM and has landed over or near the one hundred strikes mark in two of his three UFC bouts.   

Twenty-Twen-Twen Sleepers

Mariya Agapova (+290): Full Disclosure: I have been on a terrible run picking female fights. Nothing can kill a Pick ‘Em quicker than female scraps. That being said, I think the cappers are howling at the moon on this one. Mariya Agapova isn’t a world-class fighter by any stretch of the imagination, but she’s a savage and will burn out at the light and the length of the track until she either gets finished or does the finishing. She’s far more dangerous than Luana Santos. Santos might be the least dangerous Santos in the world. She has very average skills and could win this fight by making this a boring, slow-paced fight by controlling the top position. But Agapova pushes a ridiculous pace and fights without any regard for her safety. She will fight for the dub, while Santos will fight not to lose.   

Julian Erosa (+180): Julian Erosa is the killer in this matchup. C-Rod will play it safe and look to make this a controlled technical bout, while Erosa will look to stir shit up with the quickness. C-Rod will also be moving up from bantamweight to featherweight, so Erosa should be the bigger, more powerful fighter. You know what you will get with Erosa, kill or be killed. I thought Erosa might be a slight favorite, or at the very least, this would be closer to a toss-up. As a pure finisher, Erosa has a huge Fantasy upside and a ton of betting value straight up or as a finish.   

Cody Brundage (+145): Brundage is another Bruce Willis Die Hard fighter. He will have a massive advantage on the mat if he stays committed to wrestling. But that’s a huge if. Brundage looks like he gets distracted in the cage, especially when he gets out to a fast start. It’s almost as if he can’t believe he’s whoopin’ someone’s ass before he catches the speed wobbles and tumbles head over heels down the Springfield Gorge. Brundage is a firestarter on the feet and an underrated grappler on the mat. Abdul Alhassan is all power on the feet with a fifty percent takedown defense. Cody needs to draw out some big strikes from Alhassan and use the opportunities to get the fight to the mat. This might be the most Motley Crue of Twenty Twen-Twen Sleepers of all time. This one is super ugly.  

Pick ‘Em 

Abdul Razak Alhassan (-175) vs. Cody Brundage (+145) 

Winner: Abdul Razak Alhassan

Method: TKO Rd.2 

Jasmine Jasudavicius (-105) vs. Fatima Kline (-115) 

Winner:  Jasmine Jasudavicius

Method:  Decision

Joshua Van (-215) vs. Charles Johnson  (+175) 

Winner: Joshua Van 

Method: Decision 

Luana Santos (-375) vs. Mariya Agapova (+290) 

Winner: Mariya Agapova 

Method: Rear-Naked Choke Rd.2 

Josh Fremd (-110) vs. Andre Petroski (-110) 

Winner: Josh Fremd 

Method: Decision 

Da’Mon Blackshear (-145) vs. Montel Jackson (+120) 

Winner: Montel Jackson 

Method: Decision 

Thanks for reading LineStar Weekly Knockout! We'll be back next Thursday with another one. Until then, good luck and support your local MMA Gym.

About Me

My name is Chris Guy, and I’m an avid combat sports enthusiast and practitioner. I’ve been a fan of MMA since the early 2000s when Limewire was still around, and I downloaded Bas Rutten’s Big Book of Combat. In 2004, I started training Muay Thai at City Boxing in San Diego, CA. I competed as an amateur for many years, and I've also dabbled in Jiu-Jitsu. I follow many different disciplines, such as Combat Ji-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Glory Kickboxing, Boxing, and MMA.

I’m equally as enthusiastic about the craft of writing, and in addition to writing about combat sports, I also write short fiction and music. I hope to bring unique prose to sports writing, and along the way, encourage people to not only become Martial Arts fans but to also become Martial Artists themselves.

In the future, you may see me refer to the Thunderdome; it's an ode to the old Mad Max movie and refers to the world-class training facility I built in my one-car garage. It's complete with throw dummies, wrestling mats, heavy bags, and six months' worth of Chef Boyardee cans from when I thought the world was going to end back in March. I hope you enjoy my work, and if you don’t, the Thunderdome has an open door polic1